When you disconnect the exchange of cash and sex

[Chrome Dome]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

This process helped me lead girl 1 down the same path as girl 2, as I've found that by specifically identifying and helping out with the "need" that exists, you can get yourself a better deal BUT also make the girl happier. It really doesn't make any sense that a girl can be happier with you paying $600/month to their CC instead of giving them $1200 cash for 3 meetings a month, but in the "real" world of non-pro girls, this is quite possible. Some might say it is the holy grail, but it isn't without its pitfalls either.

This is just a lady who knows she cannot have cash in hand without spending it but knows she is in trouble. Look at most strippers. They can make some good money some nights but will not have any cash left the next day since they just cannot keep cash in their pocket.

[TheRealStory]

If you read closely, this was the same girl that never spent one dime of what I gave her. She opened up a separate bank account and deposited everything I ever gave her into the account.

I happened to talk to her a few weeks back as we are still friends and asked her if she still had the account. (We were talking about perhaps picking up again). She said yes, and she still hasn't touched any of the money.

That's why it didn't make sense to me, but little about this girl is comparable to most that you'd come across in this world. When you really find a girl that has truly never done this before (both girls 1 and 2 fall into this category) anything can happen.

[OrangeAid]

Originally Posted by justlooking

I don't think it has to be that complicated. I think it's when you spend as much or more time together not having sex as you do having sex.

I'd sure like to think that's not the case, since this would seem to imply that any relationship that involves any significant non-sexual time is inevitably going to get complicated. I would much rather think that there are some specific triggers you can avoid to keep things clean (I should probably make it clear at this point that my agenda is to avoid the Grey Zone in future encounters, not actively seek it out as I - and apparently some others - have done in the past).

[justlooking]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

I do hope that people that bother to read my section are enlightened enough to engage in spirited conversation without the usual whoreboard antics.

I also hope for peace in the Mideast, a silver bullet cure for fundamentalist terrorism, and a withdrawal from Iraq that won't leave that country in tatters.

[Axe]

Interesting how this thread has brought out some with low or no posts. Must have hit a nerve somewhere...

[wolf5958]

Originally Posted by Axe

Interesting how this thread has brought out some with low or no posts. Must have hit a nerve somewhere...

Maybe because it happens more than many people think, after all we are all human...

[TheRealStory]

The interesting thing about these types of relationships is that they don't really go away.

2 of these girls have resurfaced, and I'm really not sure what to do.

(of course it isn't the one that owes me money LOL)

[EddyBearNY]

Originally Posted by SirF

Just goes to show that there is always emotional involvement with sex. If you have sex with someone, an emotional bond will eventually develop. Not necessarily the first time, but the more often you do it, the stronger the feeling will become. For me, that's when it's time to move on..

I agree, a few times of fucking the same girl, and emotions take over. In some cases, just hanging a bunch of times with a stripper.

I know what I feel, but I doubt if they feel the same. How could a women who has sex with 50 guys a week have any kind of deep emotion for a John?

[TheRealStory]

Originally Posted by EddyBearNY

I agree, a few times of fucking the same girl, and emotions take over. In some cases, just hanging a bunch of times with a stripper.

I know what I feel, but I doubt if they feel the same. How could a women who has sex with 50 guys a week have any kind of deep emotion for a John?

That's the thing. These girls aren't fucking 50 guys a week. In most cases, they are fucking less guys than I'm fucking girls. In a couple of the cases (girl 1 and girl 2) I was their main sex partner for most of the time I was with them. That changes the playing field significantly.

[justlooking]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

That's the thing. These girls aren't fucking 50 guys a week. In most cases, they are fucking less guys than I'm fucking girls. In a couple of the cases (girl 1 and girl 2) I was their main sex partner for most of the time I was with them. That changes the playing field significantly.

Right. This is something guys don't always seem to realize about these "relationships" (I mean, when they hear about others').

[EddyBearNY]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

That's the thing. These girls aren't fucking 50 guys a week. In most cases, they are fucking less guys than I'm fucking girls. In a couple of the cases (girl 1 and girl 2) I was their main sex partner for most of the time I was with them. That changes the playing field significantly.

I don't think these situations are very common or easy to find. I would think unless you are giving a girl large sums of money every week, they are not going to be loyal.

[wolf5958]

Originally Posted by EddyBearNY

I don't think these situations are very common or easy to find. I would think unless you are giving a girl large sums of money every week, they are not going to be loyal.

I think you maybe way to jaded on this one. I do think that there is some real emotion out there. When it happens it happens and is never planned. I would have no idea how many times it does, but I do know it happens.......

[TheRealStory]

Again. I'm not saying monogomous. I'm saying that there are girls that have jobs that if they see 1 or 2 guys a couple of times a month and pick up an extra $1500 that is way more than they "need". Not every girl goes into this seeking to maximize her income. These are the types of girls that I target.

I never ask them not to fuck someone else, but once I've seen them a few times all I ask is that I know what is going on in general, especially if we've gone through the process of getting tested.

You can tell very easily the first time you meet a girl what her deal is.

[TheRealStory]

Actually, you can usually tell during the email exchanges.

[TheRealStory]

Prior to craigslist putting in the $5 rule for erotic services posts, with a nicely worded add you could get up to 10-20 responses to a single ad. Very easy to separate the ghetto girls from the non-ghetto girls, the educated from the uneducated, the girls that answer every CL ad without reading them, and the real "girl next door" types that just need a little extra help.

I haven't looked for girls in months as I'm still seeing the two that I met over the summer.

[EddyBearNY]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

Prior to craigslist putting in the $5 rule for erotic services posts, with a nicely worded add you could get up to 10-20 responses to a single ad. Very easy to separate the ghetto girls from the non-ghetto girls, the educated from the uneducated, the girls that answer every CL ad without reading them, and the real "girl next door" types that just need a little extra help.

I haven't looked for girls in months as I'm still seeing the two that I met over the summer.

I found a few in CL myself, before the $5 rule. Most I meet our woc, not there is anything wrong with that. Not for me.

[TheRealStory]

A lot of what you find has a lot to do with what you post for and what you are willing to pay.

[Axe]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

A lot of what you find has a lot to do with what you post for and what you are willing to pay.

Oh, so what you're saying is that it's really no different than IRL.

[TheRealStory]

Not sure what you are getting at.

I'm merely pointing out that if low price is very important, you will end up with more ghetto types.

[TheRealStory]

Originally Posted by TheRealStory

Girl 1:

Met from CL. Instant connection. We saw each other fairly consistently for about 8 months, always P4P, always the same amount. As we got to know each other better, we talked about more personal stuff (as is always the case), and I saw an opportunity. As it turns out, every dollar that I had given her since the beginning of our "relationship" she put directly into the bank. She didn't spend it, didn't really need it, but felt it was necessary in order to keep "distance" from a married guy. She was more in it for the sex than anything else, but also had an insecurity about money because she didn't make that much in her day job.

As it turns out, she had a bunch of cc debt that was consolidated at 1.9% or something to that effect, but she didn't "like" having the debt, and for some reason didn't want to take the money that I gaver her and apply it to the debt. She had set up a separate bank account for the money that I gave her, and felt that was "untouchable" money for some reason that I was never able to understand. So once I sensed that it was her CC payments that were causing her some angst, even though she could have easily paid them off from her savings, I offered to stop giving her cash and take over paying down her credit cards so she didn't have to make the payments, thereby easing her monthly nut (no pun intended). She thought about it for a couple of days and agreed.

It made all of the difference in her attitude about money, and we never spoke of it again. Ultimately, I ended up getting a "deal" to some extent, because I paid her "less" on average than I was paying her before, but at the same time she was happier, because in her mind she was debt free.

The result? We hung out a lot more. More dinners, more "non-sexual" meetings, and probably the same amount of sex, but the quality of the sex became more "real" over time.

It was still a P4P relationship, but with the transactional aspect taken off the table, it really didn't feel like that for either of it. It became real, and in some ways a little too real. But since the relationship ended (I ended it about 15 months ago for "personal" reasons), we have remained friends and see each other occasionally, and it is like we never even had the "arrangement" in the first place.

I'm seeing this one again, and it is even more disconnected than it was before. We don't even talk about money anymore, although I do periodically send money to her credit cards so that I'm even in my own mind.