Discussion in 'General Industry Related Topics' started by Slinky Bender, Feb 19, 2001.
I Hate Goodbyes
Sad to lose one as special as Val. Val, please write me.
val is the most interesting, fascinating, complex person i have ever met. i have seen sides to her that no one else has ever seen. i feel that i know and understand her as well as a person possibly can. i'm not talking about trivial details here ie: specific likes and dislikes(i recently found out that she is a fan of NASCAR/WINSTON CUP racing). that is just a matter of whether or not a topic comes up in conversation. i am talking about her inner soul. what truely motivates her and how she truely feels about things. i know this because i took the time and made the effort to get to know the real person behind the "valerie" shell. i treated her like a person and not a plaything. i understand exactly where she is coming from here. knowing val the way i do has only served to enrich my encounters with her. our times together were more special because of how well we knew each other. something that could never be accomplished by a mere roll in the hay with a pretty blond sandwiched by mindless fluff smalltalk. val, in whatever you do, i wish you good luck. you have sacrificed so much of yourself for the business. it is time to start looking out for number one.
My fellow females. Do yourselves a favor. Just answer your e-mails and post when you tour. I was very excited to see this board first go up.. Now due to overwhelming e-mails and such as well as long time friends getting on here and fighting for something that we as women provider or not should not be denied, which is sensitivity and respect, I decided to make this my last post. Thank you SB for the opportunity and the help.
I have seen a very ugly side in many ways. As for some posts that may deem rants by some, I decided as a truthful person to try and write about thought provoking things. I even went as far as to relay very painful and personal things to a bunch of strangers in a previous record breaking post. I do not, I repeat do not ask for sympathy or sadness in any way shape or form, I am not pathetic at all, I live very well and I am thankful for the profession which has allowed me great freedom and personal gain, but in turn, I put into this what I get out of it. It seems that there are some who forget automatically the human side to this. I can't believe there are people who are so angry that they bite the hand that whether we are paid or not, bring joy and passion into the lives of men. You know, If it were not for the very women you disrespect ( I am not including the gents) you would have your dick in your hands. Why must WE as providers be punished for your unhappiness. I am here to provide a valuable service, a service that is respected in all other parts of the world. I also tour Europe, I am leaving in the coming weeks, I have never seen a disrespectful attitude as is displayed in this country. I will concentrate on the good people I met, and will gladly enjoy the very basics. I am not touring after April in the US. I am not going to allow my body to be abused any longer when there are some who obviously will never see the forest because the tree are in the way. Be thankful and bless the day every provider especially a very special lady was born because without us you would not have anything to vent your fustration on. This is a warning. Thank you to gentlemen who have been special to me. You make it worthwhile. I adore you. To my ladies, you are valuable and special, this is coming from an icon (so I hear) that has tried to make this world of ours a better place. Be safe and strong.
Hey Val - Come and talk to us fellow females! C'mon back we miss ya Honey
Thanks Fletch - but ya see what I mean? Now no one will get the full impact of you're first post. Far too much censorship happening for no reason. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable I didn't mean to. I thought you were kinda funny Like a little kid - a little, misbehavin' kid.
Cruel, nasty, insensitive?
Sensing hostility between the lines?
One thing I've learned over time is that people who have been hurt always walk 1 step atta time with antennae engaged to pick up on any possible perceptible rhythms to react to.
Words don't hurt. Memories hurt. When memories are resurfaced by words, people react. And often times the person who brings up the word has absolutely nothing to do with the memory.
I've brought up topics that were apparently unacceptable to Val....ie the songs that you can recall about prostitutes/whoring/escorting/having sex for money...whatever you wanna call it.
Was it based in ill-will? Nope.
New to this board...Val dont leave!!!!
I understand that everyone has the right to there opinion,but to be cruel and nasty is taking it a step to far. I have read several posts on this board,some not so nice.....This is a place to exchange info,BS a little and maybe make some friends.I happen to be a good friend of Vals and she is a Great person.....Good hearted and has never said a bad word about anyone in the Biz..Why would anyone want to hurt her feelings? Can everone kiss & make up please...Val I love ya and miss ya..............XO
Further, all providers/prostitutes/whores and all customers/johns/tricks/assholes are immediately replaceable to each other.
wrong; and, obviously so. if that were the case, all prices would be the same, and no one's mileage would ever vary.
Hence, the predicament when "civilized, intelligent" dialogue is attempted between two camps whose interests are divergent.
Men are quite openly cynical about the arrangement and their language often-times gets crude because of this cynicism.
wrong. the people who 'get' crude are those who are crude in the first instance. the three or four most adamently and persistently cynical clients about this things of ours are never (publically) crude about it, because they aren't crude people to begin with.
Would venture to say that women are equally cynical about the arrangement, but merely refrain from expressing their cynicism because it is not good business practice and would likely defuse customers' self-deceptions and defeat the deception whis is desired to be created.
Since talk about commercial sex is of necessity crude and rambunctious,...
not only wrong; absurdly wrong.
to pick just one of several particularly controversial topics, 'affirmative action' (commerce and race) would never be discussed in crude terms by anyone who is not crude to begin with. civilized people find civilized ways to discuss any subject. that's implicit in the meaning of civilization.
the fact that the crude wouldn't dare on a public forum be as vulgarly insensitive to racial sensibilities as so many are to gender sensibilities speaks volumes about the differential in power between the two groups.
interestingly, a crude word or sentiment is never posted about any subject by those who have self-identified as 'black'. something to think about.
my suggested solution would be for women to stop being so lady-like and let fly with their own cynicism, irony, maledictions, expressions of contempt, etc.
Might not be so good for business, but would likely be very funny.
that's what i've been doing since january '00 (without being crude), when i gave up trying tea and sympathy. i don't know a lot of board moderators who are 'laughing' about it. but, i do my best to amuse. i hope you're amused, as well .
Who knows? Funniest, most enlightening providers could even get more business - at least from customers who are intellectually honest and enjoy the many ironies involved in pretending to be intimate with another human being for money.
brilliant. why not try that with your target market, and report back to us how 'funny' they found you .
[Edited by guy catelli on 02-20-2001 at 09:21 AM]
Yeah, those buzz words do hurt
Especially since EVERY time you post anything that isn't positively slopping over with sugar, somebody has to say "Well, YOU'VE got a nasty attitude! I'd never spend a DIME on you!"
Oh, yes, you would. You already have. *yawn*
Who was that annoying mamby-pamby twit on TBD about a year ago who was ALWAYS saying things like that? Poohbear or something? Man, was he ever annoying.
We are not PAID to be cynical and honest. That's why I had the WASP.
I don't think it's those particular words so much that bother Val. It's certain sentiments she has picked up on existing behind the words which hurt her feelings; sentiments which may be painful to describe and which may take a lot of energy and space to describe. So she suffices with those buzz words. But I'm sure everyone knows what she means. She feels hurt.
I also think that Val is very capable of letting "it fly" with the best of them, so to speak. Whether or not it is appreciated by men who are emotionally honest, it certainly doesn't slip by men who have some resentment or anger or bone to pick.
When someone is feeling down for whatever reason - isn't this the perfect place for them to get picked on even more? I saw a nature special last night. Mocking Birds on some island, (the Gallapagose maybe?) have no fresh water and don't eat fish like sea birds do - so they have learned to drink the blood of other animals who have a wound in order to get vital fluid - they only open up a wound which is already present. But the announcer predicted that eventually they may become formidable vampires, rivaling vampire bats. (It wasn't a pretty site)
Val - F* 'em (pardon my French) but they can't or won't understand - You are a lot stronger, emotionally, than most people, maybe they're too wounded themselves - They are like faulty fireworks - they can explode in your face and they are not good to be around. Don't try to teach them to grow up - you don't need the aggravation - talk to people who understand you when you need it (firstname.lastname@example.org) that's what we women need each other for. You've got a lot to be happy about and maybe that's why you get targeted.
Judge Crater, I think that escorts, or any women for that matter, who are honest and "let fly" are rarely listened to for the lesson or experience they can provide. It is seen as an invitation to be lashed out against, it immediately hits smoldering nerves in guys who are also hurt and frustrated. I personally think it is often interesting, funny and edifying, but a lot of people here are very nervous about hearing the truth and ask for interesting threads to be erased. How big do you think your suggestion is going over with your fellow men? Not well I predict. A devilish suggestion on your part though
[Edited by Candide on 02-19-2001 at 06:07 PM]
[Edited by Judge Crater on 07-25-2001 at 03:03 PM]
Your second post resonates with *sensitivity* and explains your first
(Insensitive post removed.)
[Edited by fletch on 02-19-2001 at 06:03 PM]
Val has posted the same "everyone treats me like dirt" rants over and over. I never did understand what provoked it. It certainly wasn't anything I've read here. But I wish her the best.
What's wrong with the word "prostitute?"
"constant references to us a "prostitutes and Hookers" "
HELLOOOO! A person (male or female) who trades sex for money is a prostitute. That's not an insult. Some of the best and nicest and warmest people I've ever met are prostitutes, and I've loved several of them.
And me? I'm a trick. I pay for sex. It's just a word. Not an insult.
They won't ever understand you, but you are understood and heard...steady, loyal hands clasp your hand in friendship always, the rest doesn't matter, Val, ignore them and what they say - continue to enjoy your life the way you are famous for doing - that is the only solution. Find the good and dwell on it - there's a lot of it out there and you do have a gift for finding it. And believe me...many see good and beauty in you.
i will miss you very much, Val.
i'll catch a beating for this......but,
take care val.
"I just wanted to let you know that there have been some feelings that I have been going through. I realise that you are only trying to create something positive for all of us. As of late, and of course the reasons for my being a little off the wall is very clear. I have decided to stay off the boards as nothing good comes from them. Repeatedly I have seen negative content directed towards the very women who cheerfully try to provide a valuable service. Threads that start as "Songs about Whoring" and constant references to us a "prostitutes and Hookers" are very condescending to us. I see no care as to our feelings even though we know what this business is all about. There are some who are respectful, but if you are looking to keep this board a mixed board, no woman is going to stay, and post in a hostile environment. I do not need men that have no respect for any woman, let alone providers to determine if I am eligible to be treated with dignity and respect. I deserve that! I am priceless, and valuable, and human.I have a child, I am married, I make a good living for my family. I sacrifice much to keep some of these boneheads satisfied. I see no need to allow myself to be brought down any further, and to suffer mental anquish that some neanderthals want me to feel because they hate women. I am sorry but If you want
you can let this be known to all, I think things should change."
Separate names with a comma.