Discussion in 'New York' started by Candide, May 26, 2001.
Thank you Pete!
I just had a nice session with Patty. She said that she had been hospitalized for a while but is feeling fine now and apologizes to those who had been trying unsuccessfully to reach her. She claims she has quit drinking and smoking and has trimmed down. She looked well and happy. Her phone number is still 212-876-9521.
I think one reason people get "pissed off" at you is that, for all the volumes you've posted on this subject, you've mostly talked in generalities.
For example, you suggest that specific threads be deleted or censored. Well, if so, what exactly should the standards be? When does a thread get "dangerous" and what, specifically, should trigger action by the moderator?
You talk about what happened when you infiltrated JAG. But you don't say, exactly, what your motivation for infiltrating JAG was and whether it was worthwhile (and if so, why).
I think there would be less controvercy if things were made clearer from the get-go. Just my two cents.
Happy times ?
Your input is at least as valuable if not more so than anybody's elses around here.
Best of luck in your well-intentioned mission(s).
ew - Thanks for the P. information - you are a pal!
Just as all homeless people do not desire to be helped (or pitied) I think the same caveat applies in this case. In the event that I am wrong though:
I think you should be commended for extending your hand and whatever/wherever the cosmic tally of Karma is kept, I'm sure it is on your side.
I called her and left her a message. I have sent her a letter through her friends with my real name, my place of employment and phone numbers and an explanation of who I am and why I relate to her and why I think I know what she is up against. I am now going to send the letter (an e-mail) directly to her email address though I have been told she does not look at e-mail anymore. I'll include my cell phone number in case I do decide to leave town (golf season) and she wants to call me.
My phone message to her was difficult and was not what I wanted to do - if someone did that to me I would not answer them. It was a bit pushy on my part. ANd how can you tell someone you don't know you can help them? That is a bit obnoxious I think. But I am doing everything possible that I can. I also don't think that my offer to arrange consultations with two expensive psychiatrists, paying for those consultations, and staying away from her so she can think and breathe on her own is such a bad deal...I wish someone did that for me when I was her age. So I don't see why everyone is so damned touchy today!
With my name, my phone numbers and my work address, and the ability to contact me anytime she wishes, plus the knowledge that she does not have to be embarrassed or anything ...I went through it and if she enters any posh waiting room in Manhattan she will find lots of beautiful young girls to make friends with...this is just a lead for her to take in a positive direction. I think she will be ok.
I am worried sick again about Patty however...does anyone know how to get in touch with her?
About the violence issue...I believe in the laws of Karma - I was explaining to anyone with bad intentions that they won't get away with it cause I honestly believe that when one is a good person and doesnt deserve to be hurt...what goes around comes around...however, I have never been the perpetrator of Karma...I mean that I wasn't threatening that I would do anything to anybody, just that they would get theirs because people always get back what they give eventually ...it is a law of physical nature....in my opinion.
I was not talking to you Littleguy...I have met some unsavory characters out in the city while escorting and I think they deserve to be spoken to harshly.
I think J. will be ok whether or not she calls me, and she now knows that if she ever in the future wants to talk to me or needs money or needs help I am here for her.
Since I don't get the feeling that my input here makes for happy times, I don't think I would be able to keep anyone posted so to speak. In the future if you have any questions for me you can always e-mail me here - carepackage@hotmail and I will be happy to answer them.
[Edited by Candide on 05-28-2001 at 07:32 PM]
As you well know, JAG is a Men's Club. Ladies either get together (indies) or already are together in an incall place. I'll bet they never once discussed a single customer after the customer left, did (do) they ?
JAG is esseentially the same sort of place where men that pursue the hobby get together and talk. The place is not for ladies. Don't bother getting upset if you're not supposed to be there.
Is it my imagination or do you keep apologizing to one person after another. Why don't you think things out before you post. Then you wouldn't have to edit nor apologize.
And you said you didn't threaten anybody, but when I read what YOU posted " Foot Note: If anyone sees this as an opportunity to prey upon her I do not recommend it. Because someone who is very sober and very capable and has good contacts and a big temper for injustice will get wind of it. It just doesn't pay so lay off her." Now I'm not really from the "mean streets" but that sounds like a threat to me.
You know men and women are not built the same. From a woman's point of view (yours ?) men are cold and calculating (among other rather negative terms) and woman are concerned and caring. Of course, a man might say that he is logical and unswayed by emotional outbursts and usually think things through instead of letting their tempers get the better of them. It's all in your point of view isn't it ?
You seem to think you, as a woman, hold the patent on care and concern. I can tell you, you do not.
I cannot help "J" because she will not let me. You offered to help and have never once let us know where (if anywhere) you have gotten.
So, have you made any headway and will you let us know ?
uh-huh.......he said "Ho"
it only sounds good when butthead says it.
Some event happens, and one of your lifeboats ends up with a huge hole in the bottom ( cannon ball, falling mast, etc ). Why wouldn't you give it the heave ho ?
Thank you SB, I get the jettison in jetsam, but what does flot refer to in flotsam?
Now can you explain the etiology of "swashbuckler"?
take care HP
Well, I guess it is a derivative of float.
[Edited by Hotpuppy on 05-28-2001 at 01:45 PM]
I would have to assume that if you found a smashed up life boat washed up on shore it would be flotsam because who in their rite mind intentionally jettision (jetsam) a perfectly good life boat from a ship in danger?
Flotsam and jetsam are both items from ships that are either floating on the water or washed up on shore. The difference between the two is jetsam is intenionally cast overboard to lighten the ship's load ( jettisioned), and flotsam is unintentional ( i.e. wreckage ). It's usually hard to tell which of these two the item is by simply looking at it, since you can't necessarily say how an item came to be floating on the sea simply by looking at it. At a result, you usually here about both when describing the group of assorted floating items.
if we didn't already know, that would have given you away candide....
all woman say that to me.
Thank you Candide.
You are correct in that anger is not a bad thing, but the way its directed does bring out defensiveness and at that point the potential for change in your anger is lost.
I didnt mean to imply that homeless people are unattached flotsam and jetsam( BTW can anyone explain this phrase to me), just that people ignore or refuse to see them out of fear, the same fear that informs our decisions on whether to stop and assist at accident sites and such- BTW this is why there are Good Samaritan laws( that remove one kind of fear from medical personnel giving aid at accidents).
This is material for a different board.
take care HP
[Edited by Hotpuppy on 05-28-2001 at 01:06 PM]
How succinctly self aware you are! And how perceptive! Bravo Hotpuppy
Anger is not always a bad thing. It's bad to mis-direct it (and I am sorry for spoiling the mood here - I know it isn't very appropriate and I should create my own board) When I figure out how to express my point without spitting at people I will edit my responses to Littleguy in particular. I know that wasn't very prudent of me - cause no one on this board is going to change and it's very vain of me to even talk to them.
I remember Mr. 'you-know-who's' advice to me to write responses off the board and post edited versions when calmer....or never post them at all. I am about to finally take his advice.
Your point about Kitty Genovese: I think that people make the mistake of thinking that people are homeless because no one is or was close to them. If parents, and husbands and lovers and friends were not also afraid of getting involved, then Susan Smith's little boys would have had the intervention of a grandparent or a father or a friend who would have given their mother the help and medical attention she needed before she murdered them. Her close family members...those little boy's close relatives...were afraid to get involved. Often, people who are related or emotionally involved cannot help. I am not saying that J., and even P., do not have people close to them - I am saying that a close person is not usually the one to help effectively. My mother and father love me - but it was a professional stranger who I listened to - not them. Homeless people are on the street, not because they dont have people who care about them, their relatives can't help them. They are on the street because they cannot afford mental health professional care and the damned Republicans have taken away the social safeguards leaving the middle class to deal with it.
Most people thought Kitty Genovese was being beaten up by a boyfriend. And they thought it was none of their business. But that wasn't the case. She was being stabbed by a nut who preyed on the neighborhood and that could have been anyone behind that bush instead of her. Most of those people had to live with that mistake, and that failure to respond for the rest of their lives. It is hard for me to fail in that particular way because I have a big mouth...and a maternal urge which is a mile wide.
[Edited by Candide on 05-28-2001 at 01:02 PM]
My years in therapy taught me that when I am angry, it is because I want someone or something to change.
Good point...I am angry right now...not just at him though.
You dont sound silly when you "talk " to Ozzy, you sound angry.
No need to apologize.
take care HP
BTW I dont think Kitty Genovese died because people were waiting for someone "close" to her to help, she died because people tend to be afraid to get involved. Do you think that when we see a homeless person passed out on the street, the thought is, "someone close to him/her will ultimately help"?
[Edited by Hotpuppy on 05-28-2001 at 12:27 PM]
Hotpuppy, I get silly when I "talk" with Ozzy. That isn't his influence - it's just me...I need to break the seriousness and he helps me do that...sorry for being so silly....
Separate names with a comma.