BBFS

Discussion in 'New York' started by wimpy, Jan 22, 2001.

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  1. mercydancer

    mercydancer

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    755
    What I meant,again without enough coffee in my system,is that me, personally, myself, could never see myself discussing anything that goes on in any of my sessions using real names or nicknames or a.k.a.,or whatevers.I just can't do it. This is a rule that is as me as my long hair.tattooes, and birthmarks.I just can't do it.
    So if a client were to ask me for bbfs or anything else, that is not a subject that I would discuss and mention names here or anywhere else. If it's something that I do, I do it and if it's something out of my league I tell him so.In the privacy of the room we're in and end of story.It's a private matter between client and provider.

    Maybe I should stop drinking coffee and go back to Jack. I seem to be able to express myself better that way.

    Hey Thorn where's my bottle????????
  2. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

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    mercy - I respectfully disagree with the notion that what ever happens between closed doors is private and should remain that way. When discussing commercial sex, we are no longer discussing a rivate relationship. The commercial aspect moves the act into the marketplace and the market does have certain rights which trump privacy issues. I think that there is a certain agreed upon convention for safety in this line of work. If any providor deviates from standard accepted practices then I think the market does have the right to know.

    That said, I think anyone having sex with a stranger would be out of their mind if they don't assume that that stranger has unprotected sex. Always better to err on the side of caution.
  3. mercydancer

    mercydancer

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    755
    Yes, I have a 15 yeaar old daughter, and a 19 year old too.And I will kill the first man to make as much as a move.LOL
    so much for that golden rule.....
  4. mercydancer

    mercydancer

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    755
    This is the first and major law by which we live.The second one being "Whatever you do will come back threefold".

    We firmly believe that ANY negative energy you put out, be it directed at living or non living, will eventually come back your way only three times stronger.
    So "least you hurt none...."as the original text states(before the yuppies got into things),would include behavior directed at things also.

    This topic has hit home in a very hard way as I have explained before. So much that here I am on my so-called vacation posting on the board.But, it also has helped me do some thinking and researching of my own.Even though I don't bbfs and always carry condoms with me, I always get a sense of relief when I see that NEGATIVE on the test papers. I don't have the right to judge anyone who doesn't use them..All I can do is keep people in my meditations and hope they keep safe.

    Sorry to subject you guys to my meditative mood but last night I had to sit and explain to my 15 year old daughter that her favorite uncle, the one she's taking as her prom date, proved positive for hiv. It's so different when things hit close to home.

    Have all the fun you can but please, be safe.
  5. Hotpuppy

    Hotpuppy Mr.Butterworth

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    2,190
    Hope you are taking this "golden rule" out of the context of some larger codification of rules, as this one( as it is written) could excuse alot of bad behavior directed at things other than people.
    take care HP
  6. mercydancer

    mercydancer

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    755
    What I was trying to explain,before my second cup of coffee,is that everyone got so hot and bothered about the posibility of info from a client being made public, but, I keep hearing that its not the same if someone wants to make public some info about a provider.

    What happens behind closed doors between two or more consenting adults is their problem.There are no children or innocent bystanders on this board.Everyone knows what they're getting into. Each person must take responsibility for their actions.

    Therefore,if a client doesn't insist on being protected he has no one to blame if something does happen but himself.The same goes for the providers.If she doesn't insist on protection then, she has no right to complain.

    You can do everything there is to be done in life,as long as you are careful.

    "Least you hurt no one, do as you please."-Wiccan golden rule.
  7. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

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    19,480
    LG,
    I disagree that you can't "out" a provider, but I agree that it's a bit different in the case of what is being referred to here. To be comparing apples to apples, you have to talk about outing a provider in the sense of displaying her "real" name, address, etc. in a public way ( and we all know that this can and has happened, and that for some it is just as dangerous as it is for guys ).

    To some extent ( and this is really imperfect ), the similar scenario for "Johns" would be a provider saying "Warning, gals, 'MrBigPatootie' on UG is a bisexual, so watch yourself with him".
  8. ew

    ew Silver

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    485
    The BB "accusation" can, of course, be used to destroy a escorts business also.

    That's why I think that when anything other than generalities are mentioned it should be done privately.

    It's the Client's life and the escort's business (which is her livelihood) so outing is serious stuff and should not be tolerated in either instance. It is way too easy to have rumors/accusations spread online and it's not good for anyone.
  9. Ozzy

    Ozzy

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    15,725
    i've said it all before.....

    big ditto to LG.
  10. littleguy

    littleguy Gold

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    Mercy "A few weeks ago evryone was having a fit because someone wanted to out a john. You alll felt so unsafe and offended. Now you're talking about outing a provider. do I see the same attitude and uproar ????
    NO!!!!!!
    H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E-S ,"

    Understand what you're saying but I'm not sure it's the same.

    A lady will out a john, presumably for bad behavior, but not necessarily, since in his view he may not have done anything wrong. Outing the john (who is NOT advertising) can break up his family, cost him his job and in effect ruin his life. You can't really "out" a provider (at least not the ones that advertise and participate in boards where hobbyists and anyone else for that matter can find them. They've, in effect, outted themselves by making themselves known to the public in one way or another). A very famous provider's family stumbled over her website and she quit because they found out what she was doing.

    TNS,

    "Some girls do BBFS" ???

    "Outing" a provider for providing BBFS may actually increase her business (as has been hinted at earlier). IMO, NOBODY here should assume a provider NEVER goes BB with anyone. It seems logical to assume that most, if not all, provider's have boyfriends, husbands, special clients, whatever, that they go BB with. Hobbyists would be insane to think that a provider never goes BB with someone.

    And, since HIV in particular is very difficult to transmit in healthy people (being that entry into the bloodstream not just the body is required), your odds of getting it BB are further reduced.

    Bottom line is, it's ALWAYS up to the hobbyist AND the provider to decide how much risk THEY wish to incur.
  11. Ozzy

    Ozzy

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    15,725
    forget it.
  12. Tankcommander

    Tankcommander

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    357
    Ozz, c'mon...you're beating a dead horse...

    soon, no one's gonna take you seriously about this...
  13. rodpeters2001

    rodpeters2001 Guest

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    Ozzy, Please elaborate.
  14. Ozzy

    Ozzy

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    15,725
    tns..

    same one i'm thinking of, and she's still making accusations against.....SOMEONE. supposedly someone else this time around. pretty soon she's gonna run out of girls to accuse things of.
  15. rodpeters2001

    rodpeters2001 Guest

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    24
    How?

    BBBJ is just as risky. More fluids to exchange and come in contact with blood from bad gums, sores, etc.

    [Edited by rodpeters2001 on 07-07-2001 at 10:19 PM]
  16. HAPPY GUY

    HAPPY GUY

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    208
    My feeling on the subject is: sex without a condom obviously kicks ass over sex with a condom. If you know who you're dealing with and you're aware of the risks and you still participate.... enjoy by all means. But don't be surprised if things go badly.

    I've never had sex without a condom with a provider. I don't think I ever would, actually. BBBJ is another story. While there's a risk, it's greatly reduced.
  17. jras

    jras

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    3,145
    BBBS

    fellow humans (lurkers too),

    It's common sense and common courtesy: don't do anything you don't want to do with a provider and don't try to coerce her into doing something she really doesn't want to do. And please stop passing blanket judgements on the complex decisons other adults make for themselves when they're naked. In other words, what Ozzy said!

    And BTW, both Hep B and Hep A vaccinations are a good idea for lotsa reasons. But both require a short series of innoculations, so you need to follow through to get the full protection. Do it for everyone's sake. Regrettably, there isn't a vaccine for Hep C yet ....

    ;-)>
    jras




    [Edited by jras on 07-08-2001 at 06:32 AM]
  18. ew

    ew Silver

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    485
    Curious...I assume that everyone has had their Hepatitus shots?

    If not, what are you thinking?
  19. rodpeters2001

    rodpeters2001 Guest

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    Caution is Required Here - Live is Too Short Already

    I can't believe what I hearing here. With all the talk about AIDS, STDs, hepatitis C and herpes these days, I would not take a chance. I have used providers in the past that starts off kissing you with their tongue in your month and then moves onto BBBJ. They're willing to also do BBFS, but I'm not willing to take a chance and ask the provider for protection. Some comply and are grateful that you care about their health as well as yours. Some are upset because you not willing to DATY. I been a hobbyist for a long time and usually see a provider a week. Knock on wood, I'm still healthly because I'm very cautious and get tested regularly for peace of mind.
  20. TuckernotSucker

    TuckernotSucker

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    104
    Some girls do do BBFS. It is wrong.... All the more reason for us to use Condoms.
    Therefore it is not necessary to deal with who these providers are. It will only start a war.
    And, I like Ozzy only know of one instance of accusing a provider of doing BBFS, it was from another provider in the same geographical location. So, do you believe?

    [Edited by TuckernotSucker on 07-07-2001 at 04:10 PM]