Discussion in 'General Industry Related Topics' started by oncebytten, Oct 23, 2001.

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  1. Bobbycat


    O.B, sorry to hear of your situation, sounds like counceling is the way to go, if you are serious about beating this you definitely will. Sounds like you have made the first step in the right direction by admitting your addiction to sex, you've stated that you are a veteran of a 12 step program, unfortunately some people with prior addictions have a tendency to transfer fixation/ addictions from one object of desire to another, sounds like you have done the same but if you stay true to your convictions, work it out and stay, or go and possibly be a better man and father, but don't make the mistake of staying for the sake of the kids stay because you still love or want to love your wife, do not place your self in an impossible place becoming trapped and just as miserable as the misses. Good Luck and The final decision is yours.
  2. MrNY

    MrNY Subject to blackouts

    nah-nah-nah..... nah, GreenDot......

    PUTZ !
  3. April

    April Member<br><color=red> First in war, first in peace

    I keep nothing!

    Many times a regular client will call me and they get upset when they have to keep giving me they're info over and over again, phone number adress etc. The way I look at it this not only protects you but myself as well. Then there are some who find it totally off the wall that I don't keep records. There are alot of places that keep files on they're pc....personally I find this very dangerous. I know of places that have gotten heat and they take everything , pc, disks etc. I also tell all my "networking" associates to not write my number down, it goes both ways!
    April =P
  4. Bill Furniture

    Bill Furniture Flounder

    I usually copy down phone numbers as if I were adding the numbers up, and I do it backwards too.

    10629 would be 012-345-6789

    pretty sneaky, huh?
  5. Geezy Muldoon

    Geezy Muldoon Gold

    FW's comments make good sense. Have not felt jealousy since 1975. It would be interesting, though, to feel jealousy again to see what its like. Don't think sexual infidelity would be the cause of it. Since I am the only man my wife has ever had sex with, I would understand in a heartbeat the desire to experiment. It would be because my wife thought another man was better company, more affectionate, kinder, a better listener, funnier, more imaginative, a better father, etc. In short, all those things that I am to her which bind her to me - despite my errant proclivities.

    [Edited by Judge Crater on 10-26-2001 at 12:34 PM]
  6. fallenwoman


    now come on that's absolutely ridiculous...

    when you are with a hooker, are you thinking about how much more you love her than your wife?? of course not, you are just fulfilling the vacancy of your animal urges. After its over, you love your wife to death again. So if your wife was having an affair, just to get herself off and never giving herself over to that other person... who cares, it's just about lust. This is where we all become confused. When WE have the urge, there's an understanding, but when our loved one does we don't understand. I think if we realized that as human beings it's inevitable to hunger after more than one person throughout our entire lives.. that doesn't make the love we have for that one significant other any less. If more people went into relationships knowing this about themselves and each other, look how much less trouble we would have. I think if you found your wife having an affair, you should ask her what turned her on about the experience and then take her and go beyond that. If you get past the jealousy thing, which is only based out of insecurities, then it will be 10 times more intense. Nuff Said. OB -gook luck to you in all of this insanity.
  7. timbered


    I was originally going to post a witty and obnoxious comment, such to the effect of:

    Hey, OB. Is your wife a looker? Maybe she could get even by calling one of us?

    But, that got me thinking - How many of us hobbyists would be upset if we found out our wives were having an affair? What would we do about it?

    Personally, I don’t have the faintest idea what I’d do…
  8. remarkable


    Jumping back to the original topic of this thread, I empathize with your situation Oncebytten, and wish you the best in working through things, whichever road you decide to go down.

    On the issue of covering one's tracks, I'm not sure how it's possible for a hobbyist to truly keep track of the veritable smorgasbord of providers without some sort of a record. That perhaps might even apply to affairs of the heart where one needed to remember phone numbers, birthdays, dress sizes, etc.

    Some ideas then on how, to attempt a level of security.

    If one was doing things the old fashioned way, with a pen and a little black book, it is fairly easy to use a simple encryption. For example, Julie can become Jules, and a telephone number 212-343-9876 can become 212-434-0987 by moving each digit in one direction. It won't fool the FBI, but it probably works for domestic partners.

    A slightly more advanced method would be a cheap $20 electronic organizer that has a password protection for the address book. This can be placed in one's briefcase, and if questions arise one can simply say "Oh, I got that from a vendor at work and threw it in there for the calculator. I don't even know about the address book and password crap".

    When things move onto a PC, it is tougher. As mentioned, clearing the browser location bar, and Internet History are a must. It is also important to watch out for, and delete cookies. It is also not a bad idea to check and delete temporary Internet Files. The browser location bar is the real pain and risk, as it is right there in the open. Yet often one is at a particular site and either the link displayed is not live, or you may not want to click through and leave your current location. The easiest way is to right click on a live link, and open a new window with the second location. When the link isn't live though, one may want to copy the URL from that page, and instead pasting it into the location bar, go to a search engine like Google, paste it there, and then click on the result. This avoids any trace in the location bar. A word of caution... With newer browser versions Google saves recent searches in it's own type of location bar feature in the search field. This can be avoided by using Yahoo for searches. Yahoo's search engine is actually Google (which nearly always yields the best results of any search engine), but doesn't have the "save" feature in the search field.

    If one was using Microsoft Office files in perhaps Word or Excel to keep track of their hobby pursuits, that of course yields the most detail for convenience, but also the ugliest chain of evidence. The first issue is the document itself. All Microsoft Office documents can be Password Protected. Go to File-Save as-Tools-General Options. It's probably not a good idea to use the dogs name as the password. It might make some sense to name the file something innocent like "Golf League 2001" so it looks innocent enough. If you're ever questioned on the file contents you have 2 options. First, "I have no idea how that password crap got there, friggin Microsoft, I hate them, now I've lost all that info". Second, you could have a file called "Golf League-2001" (note the dash between League and 2001) that actually contains all types of innocent info. This file would protect your trail if you ever had to show something.

    If one is using a Microsoft Office file, remember that Windows Start Menu displays recently accessed files under Start-Documents, and should be cleared to wipe the trail. In addition, Word/Excel etc all retain recently accessed files under the File menu, and this should be cleared as well.

    Need I mention clearing the Call Log on your cell phone? Long distance calls showing up on a phone bill can also be problematic. One way around this is to get at account at Bigzoo.com for example. You dial an access number, punch in your pin, and then the number you're calling. It's extra work but eliminates any trace of the number you called. The same effect can be achieved with a pre-paid calling card of course.

    And of course, anything on a credit card is just plain crazy. Even hotels will take cash at the time of checkout.

    I realize that some of these things I've mentioned are dead obvious to everyone, but just thought putting them all down in one place might save the anguish that Oncebytten is going through. I'm sure there are other good ideas that can be shared.
  9. fallenwoman


    Re: Emerson

    No it's:

    "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds..."

    Ralph Waldo Emerson 1803-1882

  10. pswope

    pswope One out of three

    It was actually

    Consistency is the thief of time.

    By the way,rumor has it that Busty Brianna will be doing a Norm Crosby tribute in all her sessiosn after Nov 1.
  11. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

    You'd have to be an Einstein to remember every quote exactly
  12. SkellyChamp


    Edit- Prefrences - Clear Location Bar - Clear History
  13. JPJP


    Carl How do you clear the location bar on netscape? I can't seem to figure it out and I worry that my wife may hit the dropdown arrow and see where I've been. Thanks
  14. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

    Somehow I don't think that was the quote.......:rolleyes:
  15. Geezy Muldoon

    Geezy Muldoon Gold

    Sanity is the hobgoblin of little minds.
  16. jras


    points well taken


    let me preface my comments by stating that both consistency and sanity are probably overrated ...

    Anyway, your musings about selective, if not downright arbitrary, "compassion" are interesting and relevant. I suspect that compassion is in the eye of the beholder here. GD9 obviously has expertise in the area of drug abuse, and I re-read the relevant thread of which you speak in the search for compassion. Strong opinion and arrogant counterclaims, some of which are compelling despite their tone, are readily evident in his posts in this one thread, but I find little of anything I'd call compassion or good-natured humor (in that thread or any other of his/her posts). Rufus is closer to the mark IMHO -- GD9 is a random provocateur, desperately hungry for attention of any stripe, even scorn. Or maybe he/she's just a dick.

  17. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

    Well, jras, I don't quite think so. If indeed GD9 was just a dick or whatever I don't see why he would be so anxious to help someone out in another thread. Stupidity and rudeness don't really bother me because you can always (and should always) just ignore a jerk. It's inconsistancy that always befuddles me. Of course, I've decided that perhaps the most inconsistant poster on the hobby boards is just somewhat insane. Perhaps the sam is true here.
  18. jras


    I think MrNY and Socketome have already answered your query.

    [Edited by jras on 10-25-2001 at 04:56 PM]
  19. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

    As far as I can see, 2B is quite ready to lie in his bed, he just wants some advice on what pajamas to wear (I am in constant search for the worst extended metaphor). It seems fairly obvious to me that he admits he has made a mistake, now he is only looking for advice on how to mitigate it. What you have offered, GD, is absolutely useless, and you should have saved yourself the effort of typing.

    Let me ask you this, on the rehab options for providor thread you have taken a very informative role and given what appears to be good knowledgeable advice. Now, you could have just posted that the drugged out providor put herself and others at risk by sticking needles into her arm. You could have pointed ot that it was he mess, and that no one else should even be bothered with thinking about appropriate solutions to helping her. But you didn't. Instead you chose to make good posts that showed compassion and actually added value to the board.

    I guess my question is what's the difference? Why offer help to one person and insults to another?
  20. GreenDot9

    GreenDot9 Guest

    Re: GreenDot - you're a dick !

    And you're DICKLESS!!

    So, what's your point?

    (Yes, it is sad but true, Mr NY has NO DICK!!)