Fuck the French.....Again

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by justbill_redux, Jan 30, 2003.

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  1. bigguy49

    bigguy49

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    43
    a semi-true story

    The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is
    using that seat?" The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? "I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You
    Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"
    The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing.
    You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
  2. Dondee

    Dondee Herbie, DDS

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    4,066
    Yup, Goofy :D
  3. Casper

    Casper

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    8,268
    Ya think they'll be surrendering to a relative of Walt ?
  4. Dondee

    Dondee Herbie, DDS

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    4,066
    Next week!
  5. Casper

    Casper

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    8,268
    Where's the part where they surrender ?
  6. One Eyed Trouser Trout

    One Eyed Trouser Trout #1 Cowboys Fan

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    2,071
    THIS JUST IN>>>>>>>>>>>>

    Paris (Reuters)

    Last evening during the fanfare at EuroDisney with the standard launching of fireworks, the French Military begun an assault on the Magic Kingdom.

    General Pierre Fontue, questioned afterwards and in light of the hundreds of maimed workers in their Mickey Mouse, Goofy and other assorted garb, was asked what prompted the attack.

    Fontue said, "As you know, we French are always right, and our intelligence sources supplied information that President George W. Bush was planning to open a northern front to the Iraq Campaign in France. We take war very seriously and opted to launch a pre-emptive strike against this castle and it's surface to air missiles".
  7. Wwanderer

    Wwanderer Kids, don't try this at home

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    6,001
    But which PJ was it?

    > More France Truisms
    >
    > France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
    > drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
    > prostitutes."
    > ---Mark Twain
    >
    > "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French
    > one behind me."
    > --- General George S. Patton
    >
    > "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
    > accordion."
    > --Norman Schwartzkopf
    >
    > "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about
    > it."
    > ---- Marge Simpson
    >
    > "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
    > ---Jacques Chirac, President of France
    >
    > "As far as France is concerned, you're right."
    > ---Rush Limbaugh
    >
    > "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
    > sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
    > --- Regis Philbin
    >
    > "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any
    > better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit
    > outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is
    > more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of
    > whiskey I don't know."
    > --- P.J O'Rourke (1989)
    >
    > "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of
    > the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't
    > have the face for it."
    > ---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona
    >
    > "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
    > Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He
    > is French, people."
    > --Conan O'Brien
    >
    > "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't
    > help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us
    > get the Germans out of France!"
    > ---Jay Leno
    >
    > "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching
    > into Paris under a German flag."
    > --David Letterman
    >
    > How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?
    > One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.
  8. Duckman

    Duckman Moderator

    Messages:
    4,397
    For Sale

    Classified ad in Le Monde:


    One rifle; good price; never fired; dropped only once.




    -Duck.
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2003
  9. SkellyChamp

    SkellyChamp

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    2,000
    Don't the french consider walking in the rain a bath (or actually a shower).
  10. Dondee

    Dondee Herbie, DDS

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    4,066
    You mean the ones that do it once a month, after they have their "friend"?
  11. shorty

    shorty

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    1,188
    are we still fucking the french? If we are, I got dibs on the 18 year old blond ones that bath regularly...
  12. Jarhead

    Jarhead

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    939
    Quote:
    "France is like an aging actress of the 1940's. She's still dining out on her looks, but doesn't have the face for it." Arizona Senator John McCain, on France's opposition to the use of force in Iraq. March 3, 2003 issue newsweek.

    I always like this guy.

    Jarhead
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2003
  13. pjorourke

    pjorourke Thinks he's Caesar's Wife

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    4,865
    Mikester, if you are gonna post here, you can't have thin skin about the shit that we lob at each other. Unlike other boards, this is almost all in fun.
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2003
  14. THE MIKESTER

    THE MIKESTER Bronze

    Messages:
    0
    SORRY TO SAY I WOULD BE THE FIST TO SAY MY SPELLING SUCKS SORRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL
  15. pjorourke

    pjorourke Thinks he's Caesar's Wife

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    4,865
    And I say we use that manufactured evion as fuel.
  16. Casper

    Casper

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    8,268
    I know he did but I was busting your cojones for posting water was manufactured. ;)

    I still say we piss on their lawns.
  17. pjorourke

    pjorourke Thinks he's Caesar's Wife

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    4,865
    Casper, it was a bad joke. Mikester misspelled evian as evion.
  18. Casper

    Casper

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    8,268
    So they bottle it as apposed to manufacture it. We're now on the same page.

    I say drink the water and piss on their front lawns.
  19. pjorourke

    pjorourke Thinks he's Caesar's Wife

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    4,865
    Stick a plastic bottle under a hose attached to a public water faucet.
  20. Casper

    Casper

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    8,268
    How does one "manufacture" H2O ?