hey asshole, learn how to drive

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by BigMadM, May 10, 2006.

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  1. SkellyChamp



    stripping paint, crazy glue doors, smashing doors, flatting tires is not acceptable behavior - the punishment is worse than the crime and this isn't vigilante justice.
    your actions call into question your maturity.
    your palcing yourself above the law
    sorry it just isn't an acceptable response
  2. paulbunyon


    BMM, you got it SO right. I swear, 9 times out of 10 when you see some jackass in a SUV driving like a maniac its a soccer mom.
    (Just as an aside, I really think that there should be a size limit for non-commercial trucks, SUVs, etc. Its really gotten out of control. The streets we drive on were designed with cars in mind not aircraft carriers!)
  3. paulbunyon


    LOL--I tell my girlfriend, who's not from here, that in America: Green means GO, Red means Stop and Yellow means GO FASTER!!
  4. DoNotDisturb


    I haven't had or caused any accidents

    Why question my virtue, when the other person causes the problems. Am I supposed to just let people 'get away with shit' so they continue to do it...NO. How many times have I seen LE park their civilian vehicles anywhere they want because they have a 'permit'. They think they are above the law. That piece of paper doesn't stop me. You think if I make a complaint, do you REALLY think someone is going to do something...I DON"T THINK SO
  5. SkellyChamp



    And you consider yourself a good driver - perhaps
    but what kind of person
  6. DoNotDisturb


    That's why I keep stuff in my car to fuck up your car if you are being stupid.
    My fav is the paint stripper.

    Wanna block my driveway, I'm dumping a whole tube on Crazy glue into your driverside lock/keyhole.

    Cut me off, I'll get out of my car and break off your sideview mirror as you cower in your car after being a tough guy screaming at me before rolling up your window. Think a quarter inch piece of glass is going to stop me.

    Box me in a parking spot - why didn't you see how room I had in front of me?
    When I finally get out, I'm going to back up my Jeep into your side panel or door as a 'THANK YOU'.

    I get even, I've let the air out of all 4 tires of someone stupid, strategically placed a 'surgical strike' on the side of a tire ( you can't plug those so you wind up having to get a new tire or 2 )

    Taxis don't bother me - I learned to drive near Lincoln Center, so I was thrown into the fire right away. My driver's ed teacher thought I was lying when I told him I had never been behind the wheel before. I wound up getting the least amount of wheel time since everything he threw at me, I was able to complete without a hitch.
  7. BigMadM

    BigMadM Linoleum

    sometimes I sit in my car and laugh, because I find it amazing how inconsiderate people are when it comes to handling their vehicles.
    I was recently driving through brooklyn, small narrow streets.
    Some guy with a van, doubles parks and runs into a small house.
    there were 100 yards of parking 15 feet in front of him, but he doubled park. Now every time another van or suv had to pass, they were folding in their mirrors, inching through so not to scratch this guys car or theirs, finally, a coca cola truck, sat there and beeped his horn continously till the driver walked outside The driver stood on the porch of his house, and spoke with someone throught the screen door. I was sitting 2 cars in back of the soda truck. He completely ignored the back of 3 full blocks of traffic cause the soda truck couldnt make it past him. The soda truck kept beeping, this guy just stood there talking, finally, he walks down to the Van, opens the door, removes something, goes back up the stairs, the soda truck driver, starting screaming at him, he cursed at him, then around 30 cars started beeping horns, and I could hear 25 of those people cursing out the windows, so he slowly, moved the van 25 feet foward into a spot along the curb.
    Every driver rode by giving him the finger and screaming curses, Me, I just smiled and thought, wow, what a fucking set of balls. This guy doesnt have long on this earth, one day his double parking will set off someone so bad they will end him. So I laughed, I was in no rush, it was a hobbying day, and I laughed and laughed. People never cease to amaze me.
  8. RuffToy


    Great thread BMM

    Here are a few things that piss the shit out me:
    - Asswipes that drive 40 in the left lane of the LIE. Totally clueless to why everyone is passing them on the right and staring at them with distain as they pass this moron.
    - Cab drivers that stop to drop off or pick up a fare in the middle of the street preventing others from passing. "Hey asshole, I'm working too, get the fuck outta my way"
    - Hey, how about the traffic cops (glorified meter maids) that stop their car and double park just to get out to give a guy a meter ticket. All the while fucking up traffic while they do this. "Hey asshole, you're car says traffic enforcement.....not traffic creation"
    - What about the bicycle delivery guys who peddle in the middle of the street and don't hear you coming up on them. Slow you down just enough to miss that freakin light. "Thanks buddy, I appreciate that"
    - Morons in a parking lot that back out of the space while only looking one way...and you of course are coming from the other direction.
    - HERE'S A BEAUTY. A minor fender bender on the GCP in the middle lane. Both cars are completely driveable but these dickwads decide to get out and exchange info in the middle of the fucking road backing up traffic all the way back to the Triborough Bridge. "MOVE THE FUCK OVER OUT OF THE WAY, I WANT TO GET HOME BEFORE TUESDAY"
    - People who double park and don't puill over enough. As you sueeze pass them you notice they have a ton of space on the other side and could have pulled closer. "Hey knucklehead, pay attention!"
  9. BigMadM

    BigMadM Linoleum


    you are right, but it is a bit scary when a soccer mom on Li decides to use her 5200 lb Navigator as a weapon.
  10. Smoke&Mirrors

    Smoke&Mirrors banned

    James Bond, School O' driving

    Yield Signs, signs, WTF is a sign? I view careless driving everyday. I love the ninja superbike riders,and mosquito sounding stunt car jockeys who ride mirror to mirror through bumper to bumper traffic, on shoulders where ever wheels can roll forward. How about the 10 wetback landscapers sitting the back of the pickup rolling down the interstate, waiting to become instant roadkill fajitas.

    Another beaut is when some pos flicks a cigarette butt out the window when you're riding a bike, or in a convertible so it can fry your skin off, or singe an eye out, That's a good time at 75 mph :) There are so many assholes on the roads nowdays it's frightening to say the least. Safety first is a forgotten term.
  11. Jordan

    Jordan banned

    I was once a hot-driver like all of you. I have since learned to ignore these incidents. You just don't know who that other person is, cut-throat murderer, sicko, just discharged from the institution, criminal who has no value to cut your life short or even his.

    So let me give you this short story of a friend some time ago, who was cut off on the Queensboro bridge. Friend gave him the finger a few times, endless honking all the way across the bridge, cursing bitching (you get the picture). They get off the bridge and this nutcase cuts him again, forces him to stop, gets out of his car, approaches the friend and points a gun in his face. "now what, Dick-head". Well the friend, married, with two children froze for more than ten mins. Nothing more happened, but why do you want to risk it. FUCK THEM, leave them alone. I never since given anyone the finger or sounded my horn unless for absolute danger.

    Other than broads, booze and sports we are a bunch of really nice guys. I would hate to hear of any harm to any of us because of road rage. Learn to controls feelings. It just ain't worth it.
  12. ForFun


    This topic brings up a interesting situation that happens all the time with me.

    My car has an adaptive cruise control system. It calculates a safe following distance based upon my actual speed and the top speed I set it at. In this area following distances are measured in inches (like other things in life). When people see the gap the system leaves they will cut in front of you - regardless of the speed you are going. The system will then back me off from the cut off car by slowing down. Of course this pisses off the the car behind me.

    My only two choices are not to use the system, or to manually speed up to close the gap until the person trying to cut me off decides gets the message and leaves.
  13. curious


  14. Lou Grant

    Lou Grant

    The most poignant part of your post, in my opinion, because it doesn't just extend to driving, but to every day life. The lack of common decency to others in just about every aspect, from bad driving to littering to cutting lines to calling each other asshole on pmb's is getting way out of hand and show a general disregard to their fellow man. This from the most civilized society in the history of mankind.
  15. jyris


    Tailgating is my personal favorite. If I'm doing 60-65 in a 55 zone in the friggin' right lane, and there's no traffic, tell me, why does some asshole have to drive like 3 feet off my rear bumper? If I have to brake for any reason, we're both probably dead.

    There's definitely a correlation between bad driving and proximity to the City. I live in Orange County, and the locals generally drive fairly considerately. On the 1-2 days a week that I drive in (I usually take the train), inconsiderate driving behavior steadily increases on the way -- I could probably come up with a mathematical model if I tried.
  16. jras


    yield signs are like yellow lights -- time to hit the gas ;)
  17. Hyabby

    Hyabby Guest

    See, this is why I only hobby in NYC - and I NEVER drive in NYC.

    Yeah, dealing with the assholes on the roads here in Jersey is a bitch. But NJTransit gets me into Manhattan just fine. And dealing with fuckin traffic and road idiots on my way to see a lovely lady - nope, no way.
  18. paulbunyon


    NOBODY stops at Yield signs anymore. I just assume that they won't and I'm never dissapointed.
  19. paulbunyon


    Three sets of eyes would really come in handy sometimes.
  20. zarathustra88


    Cardinal sins of ass-holery on the road: speeding, tail-gating, gratuitous lane-changing, driving in packs, arrogance, presumption, and insulated rudeness inside a two ton cocoon of steel and metal. It's all a dog eat dog game of road warrior gotcha istead of a seamless ballet of give and take. People gotta get out of tight spots, slow down a tad and let them the fuck go, don't speed up like they're a target. And since when did people blindly barreling onto expressways and parkways get the right of way, forcing me into the passing lane in the path of a truck, bus or SUV flying by ME at eighty, eighty-five? Do entry ramps still feature big yellow YIELD signs? Vehicles are too big, roads are too crowded, people are too busy, stressed out, late for everything, and full of pent up hostility perfect for unleashing on the hiway--the equivalent of going home and kicking the dog. Need a whole new mind-set-the Zen of driving.