SB - great post. I've never quite understood the discussion before the act ritual. Seldom is anything really resolved. Too often it's an attempt by the provider to set "rules" and to lower your expectations, which just makes for a lousy session overall. If there are specific things she won't do, she should let you know up front, of course, preferably before you even show up. But the most enjoyable sessions are the most unpredictable and original (for me, at least). On the other hand, "suggestions" and helpful "hints" during a session can be most rewarding. Now that said, I do remember a well reviewed out of town provider who I visited once when she was on tour here. She was very experienced and asked what I wanted before we started. I basically suggested half and half. We had a pretty mediocre session. Later, when I checked the JAG reviews, I saw that someone else had seen her and had a fantastic time. But he had suggested a whole host of things up front and she was more than willing to oblige. My point is, I guess, that so much depends on each individual and each provider. The provider I was just writing about was experienced and open minded, so an experienced hobbyist could knowingly take advantage of the situation, if he so chose. A younger, less experienced provider wouldn't have met him half way (although, if she did, you never know what might happen -- you have to learn somehow).