Hump University

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by WizardOfAhhs, Dec 2, 2016.

Draft saved Draft deleted
  1. kbpro

    kbpro

    Messages:
    102
    A sextuary campus ? No federal funds
  2. Mr. Wiggley

    Mr. Wiggley

    Messages:
    3,632
    Good new for Lowes and home Depot is they can't keep enough extension ladders in stock.
  3. WizardOfAhhs

    WizardOfAhhs

    Messages:
    1,073
    upload_2016-12-3_6-45-22.png

    Looks like the Utopia Muff Divers Scuba Club is getting ready for their first dive trip to Curacao!
    Li631 likes this.
  4. Banacek

    Banacek SAM I am

    Messages:
    6,248
    That would have been too obvious. But in hindsight, they might not be out of work. Instead of tending to lawns, they might be busy buidling a wall.
    Mr. Wiggley likes this.
  5. Mr. Wiggley

    Mr. Wiggley

    Messages:
    3,632
    Should have said inauguration day plus 1?
  6. Banacek

    Banacek SAM I am

    Messages:
    6,248
    Took me a second to get that.
    Li631 likes this.
  7. Mr. Wiggley

    Mr. Wiggley

    Messages:
    3,632
    You should have used a landscaper while you had the chance they will all be out of business January 21st.
    WizardOfAhhs and Li631 like this.
  8. vad1

    vad1

    Messages:
    1,136
    Using a leaf blower would be a different kinda blow job, it blows and is a job.

    V
    Li631 and Mr. Wiggley like this.
  9. WizardOfAhhs

    WizardOfAhhs

    Messages:
    1,073
    Fun? FUN?!?! I finally take a day off, got about a 4-5 hour window in the AM before the SO gets home, I figure plenty of time for some local fun. But my ATF is 100 miles away blowing God knows who, my 2 morning finds turn out to be duds, and my 3rd string back up is an overpriced amp working out of an underpriced hotel. So how do I spend the day? Raking goddam leaves!!! And you have the balls to call this Fun Fucking Friday!?!
    Mr. Wiggley and vad1 like this.
  10. Banacek

    Banacek SAM I am

    Messages:
    6,248
    I especially like who is paying for the wall.
    Funny shit, guys. Glad everyone is having a Fun Friday.
    Mr. Wiggley likes this.
  11. vad1

    vad1

    Messages:
    1,136
    (The Chump speaks)

    This 'not cool, not cool'.

    I should have started this thread.

    When I become a Mad Orator, I'm going to put B as AG and put WOAh in prison. WOAh, WOAh, this is going to be so yuge. (Yea, I know you said it first, you MSM are always jealous of my looks)

    I am the Dean, Director, what not. I am IT. The fuck stops here.

    Now Vice Dean: Dean of Vices of course, is SB (no, not Slinky!)

    This is a sensitive issue, but KK? I don't know, I get mauled when there is another K. Tenured professor at Large. She is flexible, she will be on board. Yes, yes, also on the table, floor, ceiling, all gold.

    Professor Emeritus is toothless Patty. I know, I know, I have a soft spot for her as she did for me.

    Thanks Faux news for your coverage. I heard that everyone is talking about you, you are in Facebook, Tinder, kik, ... eh what?

    Language skills are vital. I'm interviewing a few women from my folder (oh, different election, different guy, he is going to be my sucky estate man or something).

    They will be seeing me at my Many Get laid O place. I will talk about this on YouLube.

    Just getting started. Oh, I'm building a wall so big around campus(sy). It will be so big, so big. And the TERrible website will pay for it.

    Chumpion of the asses,
    (Only wubbucks need apply)

    ....................

    V
    Li631 and Banacek like this.
  12. Mr. Wiggley

    Mr. Wiggley

    Messages:
    3,632
    Holy shit that's me !!!!!!
    Notice the blonde in the back? Guess where I had the snorkel?
    IronBallsMcGinty and Banacek like this.
  13. IronBallsMcGinty

    IronBallsMcGinty

    Messages:
    52
    I think I'm going Back to School. To study marine biology, of course.

    Marine Biology.jpg
    Mr. Wiggley likes this.
  14. Banacek

    Banacek SAM I am

    Messages:
    6,248
    For Chairman of the Law Department, there is no better candidate than our resident genius.
    Mr. Wiggley and The Exiled like this.
  15. Banacek

    Banacek SAM I am

    Messages:
    6,248
    I nominate Chegg as Dean of Student Affairs.

    And pokler should teach a course in the Yearning Annex division entitled "How To Kiss Ass."
    vad1, Mr. Wiggley and The Exiled like this.
  16. Mr. Wiggley

    Mr. Wiggley

    Messages:
    3,632
    Ladies staff

    Ashley 201 is below

    Mandy is tenured twat

    Kelly Keegan is patriarch of the pole. Yes I know and if anyone comes up with a good M word I concede.

    Sophia is in literature and runs readin, ritin, and rectums.

    Sophia and Kelly KK are the charter members of the sisters of the sperm sorority.

    When she gets back Victoria will be assuming the position of valedicktorian of the vagina.

    If she ever ever returned SAlly can take over the vacancy as chairperson of the School of Sword Swallowing.
  17. Mr. Wiggley

    Mr. Wiggley

    Messages:
    3,632
    Ashley201 for head instructor in the oral arts.
    Banacek likes this.
  18. Li631

    Li631

    Messages:
    1,400
    We must find the Mistress of Delectable Delights (perhaps a vote in the tasty twats thread)
    A Masters in Mouth (both rookie and advanced)... Perhaps a Head Mistress?
    Master in Massage
    A Dean of Doo doo Delight (maybe a rim master... theres a layup)
    A SAM counselor (now sporting the Stripey Shirt)
    Anything and anything on the table.... including a Dine at the Y (Cafeteria name could just be.... Y)
  19. Banacek

    Banacek SAM I am

    Messages:
    6,248
    LMFAO at "yuge."
    This thread should be a wet dream for vad1.
    vad1 and Li631 like this.
  20. WizardOfAhhs

    WizardOfAhhs

    Messages:
    1,073
    *******Now Hiring********

    Due to a recent (and wholly unexpected, and quite frankly, unwarranted, and I never would have paid it if you people had done what 90% of the world expected you to do and not put me in this position) $25 million dollar expense, HUMP University is forced to expand its operations into new areas. In order to successfully meet our yuge sales goals (they are so big! so big), we are now hiring new staff in all positions (mish, cg, k9, your choice. Although she does charge extra for anal). Since I only ever do business with people who have shown unquestionable loyalty (and very questionable judgement), I will accept applications, nominations, and (let me repeat this) iterations from any UG member in good standing (good behavior is not required. In fact, it's probably a hindrance). So nominate today your UG member for any position you think they're best suited for. As for me, I'm outta here. I have an entire world to go fuck with now.
    vad1 and Li631 like this.