Discussion in 'New York' started by reloguru, Jan 23, 2003.
I've given up trying to figure it out.
I pretty certain that my forays into commercial sex have less to do with the commercial than they do with the sex. (And so, I really don't see any power issues).
Now the 'sex' part, that seems to be related to my tendency to cheat which I am almost positive has to do with some kind of insecurity.
(Haven't nailed it down yet)
It's strange how many people see cheating as a way of supplying something that's missing in a relationship.
I've always seen cheating as a way of trying to supply something that's missing in me.
High fucking five, baby!
I love my girlfriend and don't want to be in a relationship with anyone else. I do, however, want to have sex with other women. Hence, the Hobby. I'm still a piece of shit, but not a tortured soul.
I am happy with my fiancee...She is beautiful and we have an awesome sex life. We have a lot of fun together -- why on earth do I hobby? Are there any hobbiests out there with picture perfect lives with awesome relationships?? That's me. I want to make sure i am not alone. I personally believe men are wired differently than women. We just have a different instinctual need.
right? Am I? Please say I am.
You're not right - we're sex addicts. Personally, I'm happier when I get on the wagon, but it never lasts for long.
Facts of life
Don't feel as bad as you do. Don't let other's in the hobby tell you we are all ****.
Here are some simple FACTS. 87% of ALL married people "cheat" on their partner at least once in their marriage. Men greatly outnumber women in the "cheating" department. So guess just what %age of men "cheat". (It's close to 100%).
It also says that the women who "cheat" must be very busy. Since we ALL do it, tell me if being in affair is any better or worse than paying for the service.
Theories abound about men having multiple women in order to maximize the spread of there genes. Our ancestors who got it on with a lot of ladies did spread their genes around better than the other guys. So we are packed with genes that make us want to spread the seed.
There was also research done on primates, trying to teach them how to work to earn money and use the money to buy food. Once the monkeys learned how to do this, it was only a matter of a few days before they learned (all on their own) how to use the money to pay for sex.
(The boys worked twice as hard as a few days earlier, and the women used their bodies to get coins from the guys. The females then used the coins to buy their food.)
It's a simple fact of life. It is how we are built.
Alll these theories are very interesting but I think the "Men like different Pussy" is the most analytical and correct.
Building the banned word list
BTDT - With the ever growing list of banned words none of which I will use again! Slinky needs to include two additional words:
As has been said many times men always pay for sex one way or another. Have that guy do the math where T = total cost of the *******, F = estimated hours of sex with the ex, and A = average cost per hour. He will find this hobby is in fact very cost effective. This formula does not even take into account the costs incurred while still married.
Do you know why ******* costs so much ? Because it's worth it
In many cases a wife is like a provider. We pay them both to leave.
Fuck them! Guys should beat the shit out of the divorce lawyers. Just today I heard about a guy who lost a ton of money to his ex-wife. His quote was, "She's going to make more money than most people who work 60 hours a week and she's never worked a day in her life."
If you are looking to hookers to find inner truth, or practice some sort of condescending form of "kindness" then you would be a moron, worse a fool and an obvious asshole.
I'm not sure I buy this theory (if you're suggesting it an equal pwer play. While I've never thought of it as exercising power because I'm paying someone to suck my dick I will grant that some (unknown number) men think that way. But I think her power is much more tangilbe because she knows she HAS the power because men WILL pay her to suck their dick. To my mind or what's left of it that is different then him knowing that she will (suck) if he does (pay). It's a power equation alright but hardly equal in my view.
So all BMM has to do to get his dick sucked is push the bar. We should chanbge his avatar to Pavlov's pet.
I was. And it doesn't really matter how long you've been a hobbyist. What matters is how introspective you are as a hobbyist, how much you want to try to figure out why you do it. Why whores do it. What becomes of us as a result of doing it.
But I clearly shouldn't have called you a youngster.
I agree that commercial sex is mostly about power. Just as rape is really not a "sex" crime, but a "power" crime. Absent intimacy and love, which commercial sex must be, and you're left with something else, something other. Perhaps carnal, base or animal is a decent description, depending on your tastes. There is invariably and inevitably something empty and wanting and aching about commercial sex. Perhaps there is fulfillment in seeking answers to questions through the act, or finding inner truths. There may even be human kindness.
If you keep asking yourself "Why do I do this?" you might get somewhere. If you ask this board, looking for real answers, you're a hopeless and pathetic moron.
Occaisional, if you are speaking to me, I don't do this.....I've got 25 years in the hobby and and quite a bit of grey hair.....I enjoyed what I did, but "been there, done that" kind of sums it up.
Once a hobbyist, you never really get over it, but looking at it from the other side is kind of interesting.
But like I said, the theory only applies to a certain type of hobbyist....and it definitely applies the S&M crowd.
Oh, and by the way: you do this because you're an insecure, snot-nosed, needy child who likes to have whores tell you that they love you and would really sleep with you if they weren't being paid.
At least, that's one possibility.
Your theory is just scratching the surface.
Do a Search for CitV. Read up, youngster. Sit down and write a play about it. Or a short story. Or poem.
Then, make seven appointments with whores in a single day. Put yourself in their shoes. (And, by the way, those aren't bad shoes. You could save up the money and go for 28 in a day, like they do at some brothels...)
Re-write your fictional rendition of a whore's life with the new knowledge you've created from your carnal undertakings.
Then you will be a Jedi WhoreMaster.
I think so, too.
And I think Judge Crater really thinks so.
Excuse this post, I just have to get this theory out......if you are only interested in reading about good lays do not read any further.
Its could have something to do with money and power. You must suplicate to get money in the business world, you need confirmation of your values, so the whore is the ultimate confirmation. If a woman will have sex with you for money, then she is confirming the value of it, and what you do.
The power is where the hooker and the hobbyist have an understanding. You think you have power because you can pay her to suck your dick. She thinks she has power because you are so weak that you will pay her to suck your dick. Its win/win situation. But its about power as much as it as pleasure, or that pleasure and power often go together. Whether this is healthy or not I will let others decide.
BMM is in fact a great test case. He has the resources and the desire to indulge himself in a way that most men would only dream of. Is he happy about it? Who knows? (Are you?) BMM has decided that he likes the pleasure so much, he will endure all the pain and negative thoughts about himself to enjoy it, so at least he understands the choice, and is honest (with everyone except his wife.) I know I've been there. And sometimes honesty os over-rated.
I am not saying that this explains every hobbyist....but it may apply to more than a few.
The mind of the tormented male. There are way too many amateur psycho analysts in the world. I thought chicks had issues....
It just sex, enjoy it while you can, sooner or later its gunna be over. Just wait until she's Mrs.Reloguru, you'll see what I mean.
This chick's writing spooks me.
She wants to hear about a guy's personal life in detail, calls commercial sex sessions "dates", wants to remain distant and get paid top dollar and not be called a hooker? Maybe she can do the Vulcan mind trick too.
Seems a bit un-focussed.
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