In-Home Outcalls for Married Men

Discussion in 'General Industry Related Topics' started by Monk, Apr 7, 2006.

Draft saved Draft deleted
  1. Monk

    Monk

    Messages:
    3,381
    Years ago I lived in Park Slope in Brooklyn in a very nice building with a doorman. I noticed an ad in either the Voice or New York Magazine for a provider in Brooklyn and was curious where she was located (this is before you'd see a lot of those ads for Brooklyn-based providers). It turned out that she was working out of my building! I'm so glad I found out before I met them, because that could have been extremely awkward if we all ended up in the elevator one evening with my wife by my side.
  2. Cloud Nine

    Cloud Nine I had to open my big mouth.......

    Messages:
    4,542
    That's an easy one, just tell her that you were spying on her because you dont trust her.
  3. justlooking

    justlooking

    Messages:
    25,481
    This happened to me years ago, and I told the story somewhere then. But it's so amazing, I'll tell it again.

    One night, my wife called me at work and told me she was going out to dinner with some friends after work that night. I called up an agency and arranged an appointment in some girl's apartment. I remember being relieved that the girl's apartment didn't seem to be in any neighborhood my wife and her friends were likely to go.

    I did the appointment -- it was on the third floor of a four-story walk-up -- and then went home. I got home shortly after my wife.

    I asked her where she went to dinner. It turned out she had gone to the restaurant that was on the ground floor of the building in which I'd had the appointment.

    Holy shit.
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2006
  4. Once, on my way to see my ATF at her incall on the East Side I ran into one of my wife's best friends. Had a real Ralph Cramden moment. Couldn't for the life of me explain what I was doing in residential area miles from work...
  5. sallysts

    sallysts

    Messages:
    185
    scariest

    Personally I thinkgoing to a incall location is just as scary. You will probably not get caught by your wife, but you have no idea what waits for you. So if you want to have a provider to your house just for the trill of it, you would be better off picking some hoe's house to go to and see if you get beat up or robbed or both.
  6. RuffToy

    RuffToy

    Messages:
    5,161
    Different line different time
  7. donquixote04

    donquixote04

    Messages:
    2,174
    Actually, I think the line was "What are you going to believe: me or your lyin' eyes?"
  8. RuffToy

    RuffToy

    Messages:
    5,161
    How did your naked ass look coming out the window?
  9. RuffToy

    RuffToy

    Messages:
    5,161
    Great line...

    Heard this said by Willie Nelson on Howard Stern many years ago. (Not sure if it was an original line by Nelson or just repeated...but it was perfect hearing him say it). The line was delivered by him to his wife when she walked in on him in bed with another woman in their home. He said:

    Are you going to believe what you see, or are you going to believe what I tell you
  10. genius

    genius

    Messages:
    7,506
    Your experience (not for a second am I trying to diminish it) was probably an order of magnitude milder than what he experienced.
  11. Amber Jewel

    Amber Jewel

    Messages:
    67
    Frightening

    I get the jitters visiting the homes of married men, and I will do so only when I know the client very well and the wife is out of town for an extended period of time. Many years ago, I had the heart-stopping experience of a wife unexpectedly coming home from work early and finding me in bed with her spouse. Never again!
  12. genius

    genius

    Messages:
    7,506
    That movie is to married mongers as Jaws was to swimmers at the beach.

    The deny,deny, deny scene where the wife comes home and catches her husband in bed with another women was by far the funniest scene IMHO.
  13. billyS

    billyS

    Messages:
    8,177
    I really think bringing a hooker into your house, especially one you never met before is dangerous whether you are married or not. The possiblilty of being ripped off by her accomplice either while you are with her or if she is casing the place for later is great. I would never do it.
  14. edge7981

    edge7981

    Messages:
    21
    For all you movie buffs out there, I just checked imdb.com and want to revise my post:

    1. I reversed the roles and the dialogue ; Morse is teaching Matthau to cheat
    2. The blonde was none other than Jayne Mansfield
  15. edge7981

    edge7981

    Messages:
    21
    Genius's story about the earring reminded me of a "A Guide for the Married Man," a very funny movie in which Walter Matthau is trying to teach Robert Morse how to cheat on his wife. Each time he gives Morse a rule, he tells him a story about it and it's illustrated it with a sketch featuring different actors (The "deny, deny, deny" scene with Joey Bishop is a classic.) It had a huge cast of stars in the sketches.

    In this other scene Matthau tells Morse never to bring a girl home, and the sketch plays out with Terry Thomas going into his house with another man in a suit, hat and mustache. "He" turns out to be this sexy blonde with a huge rack and they embrace. Fade to later when they're getting ready to leave. Blonde is looking all over the house.

    Thomas: What are you looking for?
    Blonde: My bra.
    He starts looking with her in a panic
    Blonde: It's all right, Tiger. I've got another one at home.
    Thomas: That is not what's worrying me. What is worrying me is my wife coming home and finding it.
    Blonde: She'll just think it's hers.
    Thomas looks at her rack, says "don't be ridiculous," and starts to search more furiously.

    Fade to Matthau concluding the story, "and they never found it." Tells Morse the guy is in the sauna with them and points out a shriveled graying old man.

    Morse: Wow, I pictured a much younger guy
    Matthau: How old do you think he is?
    Morse: I don't know, 80?
    Matthau: 32!

    Don't know if it's funny in the retelling, but it kills onscreen!
  16. genius

    genius

    Messages:
    7,506
    Does that mean she does everything BB?
  17. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

    Messages:
    19,819
    Perhaps the acorn doesn't fall far from he tree?
  18. misterxyz

    misterxyz

    Messages:
    806
    I've checked my wife's car for condoms but I've never found any.
  19. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

    Messages:
    19,819
    It's much harder (but not impossible) to get a BJ from a streetwalker without doing that. It's one of the things I miss about not seeing streetwalkers anymore. I really used to like getting a BJ in my car.
  20. genius

    genius

    Messages:
    7,506
    Car is not a problem. People always bring co-workers, kids, etc somewhere. Now is the wife finds some condoms in the car....

    Anyway, I don't think bringing someone to one's car or vacation house is quite the same (emotionally) as to the bedroom where you sleep with your wife. You get caught with that, just once, and I think your marriage can not recover from it.