what would you do if i died? wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? husband: Definitely not! wife: Why not? Don't you like being married? husband: Of course I do. wife: Then why wouldn't you remarry? husband: Okay, I'd get married again. wife: You would? (hurtful look on her face) husband: (groans) wife: Would you live in our house? husband: I guess so ... it's a good house. wife: Would you sleep with her in our bed? husband: Where else would we sleep? wife: Would you let her drive my car? husband: Probably -- it's still pretty new. wife: Would you replace my pictures with hers? husband: That would seem to be the right thing to do. wife: Would she use my golf clubs? husband: No, she's left-handed. wife: (silence) husband: Fuck!