NJ Clubs Accessible by Public Transportation (PSA)

Discussion in 'Stripclubs, Strippers and Porn Stars' started by jyris, Dec 29, 2005.

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  1. jyris

    jyris

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    568
    JRS –

    Not sure when you went, but my visit on Saturday night wasn’t much better. Villas, for a change, had some fairly attractive dancers, but there were a couple of well-lubricated guys throwing so much money around and buying so many drinks for the dancers and barmaids that any attempt to gain more than passing interest from one of them would have turned into a spending contest. Who needs that? Stopped by Don Costa for a quick one and got digits off a new Russian that I’d had a few drinks with before New Year’s (would have spent more time there, but she was with some sixty-something dude who was also spending like a sailor on her – figured that I’d let her take his cash and set up an off-premises meeting some other time). Ran into a buddy at April’s who’s dating one of the dancers and stayed for a couple, but nothing much going on.

    It’s been said here before, but bears repeating – the Newark clubs are not a sure thing for in-club gratification of immediate needs. If that was your intent, and you were driving, you’d have been better-advised to hit Rah-Rahs, BU, or one of the P-town joints – they’re only a few minutes away by car. My purpose in starting this thread was to offer some suggestions for those who, like me, commute by train to NYC (or Newark or JC) but still want options for an evening out without the expense of the Manhattan clubs, or for those who may want to hit a place or two without worrying about driving afterwards. I’ve never been to Titillations, for example, but I definitely plan to visit after seeing Blane’s info above.
  2. lamont5123

    lamont5123

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    Sorry your trip was a bust.

    But I enjoyed reading your account.
  3. Blackbeard

    Blackbeard

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    Also, excellent post Jyris.
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2006
  4. Blackbeard

    Blackbeard

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    Jim,

    I appreciate the Proustian exhaustiveness of your post. Very thorough.

    I would have done two things differently:

    I would have gone to George & I. I would have eaten at Fernandes, not Mickey Dees.

    Excellent post though.
  5. JamesRoweSr

    JamesRoweSr

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    Still awake?

    At April's, I got the "annoyingly puritanical" treatment jyris mentioned could happen. Worse yet, this looked like a casting call to play John Candy in glow in the dark bikinis. Yet, the Department of Homeland Security should secure things as well as these dancers hid their nipples.

    It's not good for the self-esteem when this happens.

    By the time I found one I'd consider introducing my manhood to (which I was doubting would happen anyway), I had an uninvited dancer sit next to me. She was nice, but not what I was looking for. I tried to find out what the Fort Knox thing was all about, but didn't get too much info.

    I should mention that the bartenders kept asking if I wanted another, which I hate, and one shortchanged me on change. Personally, I think it was intentional, but I don't know for sure.

    I bet if you got to know some of these dancers, you could get somewhere with them. I would advise Weight Watchers. Regardless, I left with a bad taste in my mouth about this place.

    So that slams the lid on this adventure. I finished up with a Filet o' Fish at McDonald's, with large fries, in case historians want to try and recreate my journey. Thanks again jyris and all those who followed with good insight.
  6. JamesRoweSr

    JamesRoweSr

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    Best laid plans...

    First of all, I must also compliment jyris on an outstanding post. When I first read it, I had the same feeling someone gets when they watch a movie and they just know they have to visit where it takes place. Hey, some people want to see the Eiffel Tower, others want to ski the Swiss Alps, and yet others want to go out into the rugged terrain and get jerked off by a dancer right at the bar.

    In preparation, I made sure that I had eaten well for the trip. I was going to pack a meal, but I wasn't sure of the reaction if I opened a brown bag and revealed a PB&J. (I know this site has a lot of acronyms...for those unfamiliar, PB&J is peanut butter and jelly).

    Unlike jyris, I was ready to begin my exploration in a vehicle. So I contacted AAA and asked them for a travel kit. I gave them the five destinations and asked if there were any one star motels in the vicinity, preferably with an hourly rate and with a non-smoking and crab-free environment.

    OK, that last paragraph was an attempt at a little humor. I didn't call AAA, but I did go to Google Maps and banged in all five locations. I even flipped to satellite view, which was useless, but I felt cool. I decided to skip George & I and Galicia, based on the reviews, and do Villas Indios, Don Costa, and April's.

    I also opted out of eating at Fernandes, but I have also heard a good review of this place. No, I don't mean mileage from the waiters, I mean the food is supposed to be excellent.

    I also copied the jyris post into Microsoft Word (use the word processor of your choice), added the street addresses to the document, and printed it out in a Arial 8-point font. I know people like detailed reviews, so I hope that tidbit helps someone.

    I was now armed with a cheat sheet, which made me feel like I was back in high school. Of course, I wish I had taken Portuguese then. I also wish I had studied algebra, because jyris had noted that at my first stop, the dollar parade is "inversely proportional to the number of patrons," which sounded like a lot of math.

    When I arrived at Villas Indios, I realized that it wasn't as good an area as the Ironbound section that I knew of. In fact, I still don't even know if this is still considered the Ironbound section. But for those who travel to Paterson or Irvington, this was like Aspen on a crisp winter day, so you wouldn't be phased at all.

    I've neglected to mention that I was arriving "commando" for this mission. After all, why let Green Lantern Underoos get in the way of business? I also had brought something to mop up with, based on advice given above. A wet vac seemed overboard, so I opted for tissues.

    Mistake number one at Villas Indios was sitting in the center rather than in a corner. I don't like to be near you dirty, filthy mongers, especially when I'm planning to watch the Handy Griffith show, so I got scared and found the most wide open area. That's tough to recover from.

    The dancers were very nice. Some had seen better days, like sometime in the early 1960s. But overall it was a solid group, primarily Brazilian with the Russian invasion right on time as jyris projected. The bartenders seemed to be a miserable bunch, but I find that the case in most go go bars. I'm not sure why that is, but if cuntish were a word, I'd use it here.

    The dancers were friendly, and being the charmer that I am, I made sure to make fun of them. It's funny how self conscious a chick gets when she parades around half naked looking for tips. For the math students still with us, the nipple flashing was inversely proportional to how they looked, but I was there for more.

    The dollar parade was fairly intense, and there really was no place to hide. I blew off a couple at a point, but not to give away the ending, I did what most of us do, I took it out on the bitchy bartenders and left a pathetic tip for them. Yes, you know exactly who you are.

    Anyway, I did make some subtle inquiries about a visit to the Human Resources department. But honestly, the place was pretty packed, and with my seat I really knew I was in trouble. That didn't stop me from making a masturbation motion with my fist and then pointing to my crotch. You probably realize that I speak in the universal language of love.

    When I exited Villas Indios, I noted a gentleman who looked like he was vehicle watching. Apparently this was the security detail. I threw him a spare dollar, didn't ask for a handy, and realized this area wasn't my idea of fun. Of course I look as tough as Ron Howard, although I have hair.

    I hope you all noticed the Handy Griffith/Ron Howard references.

    I got lost and lapped around (not in the DATY sense, I mean driving) until I found Don Costa. Again a gentleman was out there acting as security. I threw him a couple of bucks, although a bottle of Colt 45 might have been more appropriate.

    Nice place. There was some talent there, but of course the tip of my cock had been rubbing directly against my pants for the past 100 minutes (and had been rubbed briefly in the other establishment, which I forgot to mention), so I was ready to fuck a cantaloupe.

    Don Costa also had friendlier bartenders and chit chatty dancers. I like to practice my best pickup lines, like "are they real?" or "which gets sweatier, your pits or your feet?" No, really it was a nice place and a little less dollar pressure. I didn't really have a good game plan here, but I wouldn't be against returning. I also forgot to consult my cheat sheet, which would have told me to talk to the bartenders more. For example:

    Me: "Hi. Yes, I know you speak little English, but I'm interested in find out who wants to pull my prick for $.2 either here or in my car."

    Bartender: "You want to pay 20 cents?"

    Me: "Oh um, no. I spend too much time on UG. Forget it."

    Then I figured I'd try April's which I had seen was right across the street.

    continued...
  7. wheninvegas2005

    wheninvegas2005

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    I thought it was a fair question. Who wants to walk around with cum stains on their pants. I guess if you know the odds are good for a HJ, packing some wet wipes/condom might not be a bad idea.
  8. brykster

    brykster

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    2,832
    odds are if you are really concerned about this, it's probably not the experience for you. that being said, a friend of mine throws on a condom for handies. you may want to follow suit.
  9. Waru

    Waru

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    Jyris:
    "Since you’re presumably sober when you arrive, I’d recommend that you walk to the most distant first and work your way back to the train station."

    So that's what i've been doing wrong?
    Great posts, Jyris. Thanks
  10. wheninvegas2005

    wheninvegas2005

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    Jyris, A+. You're like the UG version of Mapquest/Google. Nice job!

    Last time I was at Titillations in bloomfield (which has it's own thread) there wa absolutely no roaming in the LD areas.
  11. jyris

    jyris

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    Showoffs is about a mile from Orange station on the Morris and Essex lines, which run direct from Penn Station (during rush hour, anyway). Otherwise, take the PATH to Hoboken and transfer to the M&E. Neighborhood between the station and the bar is questionable -- take a cab for sure. I'm not familiar with Orange station, so I don't know if cabs typically line up at the station; find and call a local cab company to meet you. Fare to the bar should only be about $ 5.00. Cab back to Newark would be about $ 30.00.
  12. blane17

    blane17

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    Showoffs is not that close to public transportation. Taxi, which I've done several times, is $30-$40 from Newark Penn Station. I could be wrong, but I think Watsessing station in Bloomfield is closer to SO's than Newark Penn Station. I would rather be stuck though in Newark Penn Station than the area around Watsessing.
  13. wired1

    wired1

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    Great post!!!

    Is ShowOffs in W Orange reasonable by public transportation?

    How much are we talking for a taxi from there to Newark?

    Thanks!
  14. blane17

    blane17

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    titillations is within walking distance from watsessing train station. Heartbreakers (ugh) is walking distance from bloomfield train station.
  15. JerseyDan

    JerseyDan

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    Titallations is walking distance from the Bloomfield train station. One New York dancer let me in on that one..
  16. jyris

    jyris

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    568
    You were probably thinking of Branch Brook (Park) in Newark.
  17. jyris

    jyris

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    568
    I think this question has been covered in the Rah-Rah's thread. Yes, it's messy, but since none of the Newark bars that I know of has a private lapdance area or anything like that, there's really no choice. Most of the girls (and guys) try to be reasonably discrete. If you're in George's or Villas Indio's, you'll see a lot of guys sitting in the darker corners with a dancer on her "off" set who suddenly have to go to the john right after the girl leaves to get back up on stage. Since the bathrooms never seem to have any paper towels, they all come out with wet hands.
  18. robotiko

    robotiko

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    Thanks for the Newark info jyris, most informative and helpful! I haven't been to the Ironbound section in years but remember sampling a few of the spots you mention. I think I'll make a return soon.

    Now here's a silly question in regards to hj's at bars. Never got one. Never seen one being given. But where in the hell does the guy finish? On the floor, in her hand, napkin?? Messy I would think!
  19. jyris

    jyris

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    No. Newark City Subway ends on Bloomfield Avenue near the Bloomfield/North Newark line.
  20. lamont5123

    lamont5123

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    jyris,

    Dosen't the Newark City Subway go to Bound Brook, too?