Provider reviewing clients

Discussion in 'New York' started by wimpy, Jan 30, 2001.

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  1. guy catelli

    guy catelli

    ah, of course! although i didn't see the movie, i did see that particular scene in the trailers -- which is how i knew the movie wasn't for me.

    so, returning to the client-review by the anonymous ex-Playmate, the analogy was to how much she was fakin' it -- not his specific techinque.

    personally, Oz, all of mine have done soft, but excited, moaning, rather than screaming. but, i don't go by the sound -- i go by the twitching and the bucking. and, to tell the truth, i find it hard to keep the tip of my tongue on the guitar strings when the guitar is on the back of a galloping filly -- especially since my face is usually soaking wet by that point.

    i think a special thread with its own directory on the subject of client fluency en francaise would be very useful. maybe some of the escorts would be willing to help out.

    personally, i would like to know what Inga's advice would be. i feel that if i didn't do it just the way she likes it, then i would be in a lot of trouble ;)
  2. Ozzy


    only thing i can think of is the orgasm scene when meg ryan shows billy crystl that a woman can fake it and a guy not relize the difference. she did this in the middle of a coffee shop with some old bags's the only memorable scene from the movie.

    ozzy...............who's never had a woman make those noises in bed.
  3. guy catelli

    guy catelli

    Originally posted by Ozzy:
    thanks for removing my name, guy.

    no problem, Oz ... my heart goes out to you. but, try an' look on the bright side. she did say you have good hygiene.

    but, i'm not married.

    she's a good girl, Oz -- she was trying to further disguise your identity from the general public. of course, she did supply your personal info on the escorts-only board. this could not be helped.

    ATM With A Pulse

    you're a standup guy, Oz -- using yourself to shield the indentity of the real client. but, to those who know him, that line was a dead giveaway to the real client's indentity.

    this quote is a classic.......

    Oz, you're a classic. if you hadn't come along, board operators would have had to invent you, to boost their ratings. {hmmm}

    ps i've never seen When Harry Met Sally

    the reference is apparently sufficiently well known to escorts to be used as one of the choices offered on the drop-down menu of a client-review form. can someone describe for me the scene in the movie that the form is referring to?

    [Edited by guy catelli on 02-04-2001 at 04:30 PM]
  4. robnotbob


    Oz: I forgot I was you..I don't even know if I'M me. But that's another topic.
  5. Ozzy


    thanks for removing my name guy.

    but i'm not married.

    ATM With A Pulse

    this quote is a classic.......
  6. guy catelli

    guy catelli

    i knew i had saved this *classic* somewhere!

    [what follows was posted to another board that was *not* TBD or JAG:]

    Here's A Client Review From The Secret Provider's Board

    Posted by Ex-Playmate on June 03, 2000 at 10:44:46:

    I snipped the clients personal info to protect his identity.

    Client Name: (snip)
    Email address: (snip)
    Work #: (snip)
    Cell #: (snip)
    Home#: N/A

    Where did you see client?
    My place

    If outcall, give address:

    Type Of Session:

    What Classifiation Of Client Is He?:
    ATM With A Pulse

    Refer To List And Pick A Phrase That Best Describes Him:
    "Have Beer Can And Condom Will Travel"

    How Much Did He Pay And For How Long?: $400 for 1 hour

    Could more cash be sucked out of him?
    Probably, he's pretty desperate.

    Actual length of appointment? 1 hour

    Height: maybe 5'11'' or 6'.0" but can't recall exactly

    Weight: Pudgy

    General Appearance: basically non-descript, NOT goodlooking, blends into the wall type

    Penis: small and curved to the side, not memorable

    Hygiene: good

    Does he have body odor, if so where? No

    How strong? N/A

    Body Type and Musculature: marshmallow type, pudge with no muscle tone, doesn't appear to
    exercise, couch-potato physique

    Describe Ass: Looks like it belongs on a 70 year old Chinese soldier.

    Describe Personality: Bland, boring

    Did He Give Your Oral?: Yes

    Choose An Expression From The List To Describe His Going Down On You:
    "When Harry Met Sally"

    Would You See Client Again?:
    If I was strapped for cash maybe.

    Does He See Providers By Choice Or Necessity? Definately by necessity. During a vulnerable
    moment he confessed his wife won't touch him anymore. I felt sorry for him.

    Is He A Trick Or A Client?: Definately a trick

    How long did it take him to climax?:
    Once I got down to business he came so soon it was over in 3 minutes, tops.

  7. Ozzy


    thanks rob, but since your me.....doesn't that make me a legend in my own mind. ;)
  8. robnotbob


    Oz: what makes you think you're not??

    You are in my eyes...
  9. Ozzy


    to tell you the truth, after reading adrianas infamous review of SS on tbd a while made me want to meet her all the more.

    obviously a review of a client would have to be tongue in cheek and with a lot of humor. i don't see a problem with a well written and interesting one like A1N's. there was no mention of any act, but of an interesting night out(scores).....shit if all the girls i tooled around the streets of ny with wrote reviews on our dates i'd save a lot of time typing.

    i'd also be a legend.
  10. HornDogBuddah


    Julie, your reply is right on. Providers reviewing clients would be silly, pointless and, unless well written, tedious to read. Now, if a provider were to group her experiences with clients (note, I said best experiences, not idle fantasies) into, say, three categories (e.g., a) top 10 best, b) typical but eminently satisfactory, and c) these are examples of why it can be j-o-b [but not to include the psychos or really off-the-wall incidents from which we could learn nothing about our own behavior]) I think we dolts would find it not only entertaining but also informative.

    But, you're a business woman and you no doubt think the investment in time and effort would not be paid back. (ROI and all that.)
  11. Julienyc


    Re: Reviews

    I am sure that some providers might use this to get Pay Back for her bad reviews. They may totally try to humiliate the poor client for not tipping. The smart business providers will give excellent reviews. The sweet ones will leave any thing bad out of the review because they would not want to hurt a clients feelings. Honesty can be tough ,it seems a little touchy doesn't it?
  12. pswope

    pswope One out of three

    "I know the truth! You can't handle the truth!"*

    Your Honor
    While vetted reviews of Johns would be either
    illuminating and educational to the naive and uninformed or validate certains notions to the cynical,I submit that ultimately the effort would be counterproductive,if not futlie.
    Commercial sex is much about fantasy,illusion,and(unfortunately)delusion,as we learn from reading the boards. Suspension of disbelief(or fantasy)is a critical element to a john optimizing his commercial experience.
    If the ladies were to be boldly honest,this for the most part would only serve to burst the bubble of many johns,who for that hour fancy themselves to be Don Juan. Of course,that would be counterproductive to their business interests.
    As my proffer I submit a thread on a similiar type board, LAIF,where a California working girl posted a Day in my Life thread discussing in graphic detail her various sessions. When it became evident that her sessions were choreographed like a Michael Jackson video,several of her Johns freaked and vowed never to see her againbecause their illussion of speicalness had been shattered.
    I acknowledge that there are certain ladies or particuliar sessions,where the elements of human attraction are there and the couple can have a sexual liason,which transcends the normal limits of commercial sex. But I submit,that is the exception(unless you happen to be Wimpy).
    There are ladies,who are honest enough to have these conversations in the context of a face to face meeting. I've had several of these conversations and emerged the better for it.
    * Paraphrase from Jack Nicholson in A few Good Men

    [Edited by pswope on 02-01-2001 at 09:34 AM]
  13. One Eyed Trouser Trout

    One Eyed Trouser Trout #1 Cowboys Fan

    Well, Mr. Studpuppy,

    It would give me some insights as to whether you're as hot from their point of view as you appear from your escapades....

    Girls....This guy San Te is a home wrecker from what I gather....BFE...good for several pops....spends like a wild man. Appears to be a great catch.
  14. San_Te


    This thread is stupid and a complete waste of space. What objective would be served by providers reviewing clients?
  15. guy catelli

    guy catelli

    by the way ...

    (here's a {not misleadingly ;-} edited review of me by a nationally touring provider. what i edited out was her asking not to be flamed because the review was written in the midst of A1N's psychotic episode, which resulted in her rumor-mongering about me in emails to escorts:)

    I think that after meeting Mr. Catelli, it is only
    fair that I let other providers know what kind of person he is.

    I like to think that I am an objective and fair person; if I had felt any discomfort or insecurity about meeting him
    while in NYC, I would have cancelled immediately--but I didn't.

    Mr. Catelli is very much a true gentlemen. Upon answering the door, he gave me some beautiful red roses and a hug. We had a bit of a chat about what I'd done in the city since I arrived, and we also discussed the expectations of the session. He was always polite and courteous, and was very sweet. We had a really nice time.

    Ladies, if you were uncertain about his client potential before, I can only tell you what I know.....I think you will find that he is a very caring and considerate excellent addition to your "Little Black Book".

    I would like to mention before signing off that I was in no way coerced or encouraged to write this review--I just felt my afternoon was definitely worth writing about....I just felt it was only right to set the record straight about his behavior behind closed doors and in person. What a sweetie...!

    [Edited by guy catelli on 01-31-2001 at 06:57 PM]
  16. guy catelli

    guy catelli

    i concur. i read one once on some other board. it was deflating, but hilarious.
  17. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

    It would be anonymous providers giving reviews of anonymous clients. I also have no problem with anonymous clients giving reviews of anonymous providers. However, in general, I think most of those who read this board would find the former much more informative than the latter.

    Basically.........what the Judge said at 4:21.
  18. justme

    justme homo economicus

    You guys are kidding, right? None of you have heard of TransUnion. 'Consumer's' get reviewed all the time, it's just based on what makes a consumer good: his or her ability to pay on time.
  19. fletch

    fletch Voice of Reason

    sb, if you are going to allow providers to post anonymous reviews of clients I think you ought to allow clients to do the same.
  20. Geezy Muldoon

    Geezy Muldoon Gold


    [Edited by Judge Crater on 07-25-2001 at 02:45 PM]