as far as i can recall, i have not given online advice to anyone about a private matter; nor, likewise, have i solicited same on my own behalf. so, i will only mention here, fwiw, what i myself am doing in a not disimilar situation. on certain days of the year that i know have special significance for her, i send a card. i also send a note from time to time during the year. i don't try to persuade her that today can be like yesterday, because i know that it can't. but, i consider it a little gift to remind her that she is in the position to do the rejecting (at least where i'm concerned ). this is a position every woman enjoys occupying; it cannot be less the case for a woman much of civilian society views as not occupying this position professionally.