Signs of the Apocalypse.

Discussion in 'Music, Movies and Entertainment' started by iusedtobeone1, Aug 20, 2006.

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  1. mitchmaxx


    Gilby Clark being mentioned in the same breath as Tommy Lee, and Jason Newsted... 2 never was.
  2. SkellyChamp


    75. Governor Jesse Ventura

    76. Marion Barry re-elected
  3. ChuckUFarlie


    74. American Idol
  4. scoochamenz1


    73. avril levign (sp) "sings" fuel and the members of metallica applaud.
  5. OpheliaDixon

    OpheliaDixon UG Advertiser

    72. Bob Dylan appears in a Victoria Secret ad.
  6. SubmissiveAngel


    71. Paris Hilton for Men
  7. iusedtobeone1


    here are the rest....

    51. Clear Channel Communications takes ownership of most of America's airwaves. The era of corporate rock becomes official.

    52. Vince Vaugn stars in an attempted screen-by-screen remake of Psycho.

    53. Dennis Miller stars as Sandra Bullock's love interest on The Net.

    54. Dennis Miller turns on himself, rejects satire and thinking man's humor in favor of role as mean-spirited attack dog for the Bush administration.

    55. Scarface takes on a life of its own many years after its release; young urban men revere Al Pacino's amoral and violent version of the American Dream, gangster style, despite the fact that "Scarface" loses his life in hail of bullets.

    56. "Put your hands in the air, if you're a real player!"

    57. M.C. Hammer's "Can't Touch This" permanently replaces Rick James' "Superfreak," the song it was sampled from, on DJ turntables from now until the end times.

    58. "You've got to pray just to make it today"

    59. "Take No Prisoners" is left off of Megadeth's greatest hits CD.

    60. Otherwise brilliant Dave Grohl takes an easy, popular stance and arrogantly mocks Metallica for attempting to protect songwriting rights for artists such as himself, many of whom agreed with Metallica but didn't have the guts to take an unpopular stand in the face of an entitled youth culture that feels they should have music for free but are willing to pay for skateboards and Coca Cola.

    61. "The View"

    62. "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit"

    63. "Ryan Caufield, Year One"

    64. "'Wolf Lake,' starring Lou Diamond Phillips"

    65. Islam convert Cat Stevens endorses the assassination/killing of author Salman Rushdie for writing The Satanic Verses.

    66. For $10,000, a man from Chicago agrees to tattoo the name of a dotcom company on his body and signs a contract obligating him to be in public for a certain amount of time each year so the tattoo can be visible and "branded" into the minds of those he interacts with.

    67. Bob Dylan sells "The Times They Are a Changin'" to global accounting firm Coopers and Lybrand, ushering in the modern era of corporate song whoring.

    68. Angered over perceived snubs by the Clinton/Gore white house, Ralph Nader runs for office against Gore and George W. Bush, and makes a point of criticizing Gore much more harshly than Bush, though Nader's own beliefs are more in line with Gore's. Nader arguably serves as the swing vote for one of the closest and most important elections in American history. Four years later, angered again, this time by the snubs from all his former Democratic Party friends who feel he betrayed them, Nader decides to run for office again, still denying he impacted the past election in any way, still denying that running for president could actually undermine the very causes he believes in the most and swing another election, still putting his own hurt pride and ego above his principles, this time refusing to run on a Green party ticket because even the Greens are concerned enough about worst-case scenarios that they want him to pull out of swing states, Nader forges ahead, setting himself up for one of the most tragic American lives ever lived and laying the foundation for numerous apocalyptic scenarios. Instead of coming clean about whatever his real agenda is, Nader claims that he is going to pull Bush voters and independent voters to his cause but NOT potential Kerry supporters(!). He makes this claim despite the fact that his positions on social issues such as abortion and gay rights are repugnant to most jaded Bush supporters and many of the independents he claims to be targeting. Nader forges ahead with the self-proclaimed illusion that he is actually helping John Kerry, despite the historical fact that a similar candidacy by Pat Buchanan pulled the first Bush to the right and helped put Clinton in the White House.

    69. "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

    70. NuMetal
  8. iusedtobeone1


    No particuliar order, we need 30 more to make 100. Help me out.

    1. Dude, Where's My Car?

    2. "The Man Show" debuts.

    3. "The Man Show" succeeds.

    4. "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" debuts.

    5. "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" succeeds.

    6. John Tesh leaves "Entertainment Tonight" to "pursue his dream" in music.

    7. John Tesh, Live at Red Rocks


    9. Starship changes it name from Jefferson Starship (previously Jefferson Airplane), decides to write a song with the lyrics: "who cares, they're always changing corporation names."

    10. Starship accomplishes all that, and much more, with "We Built This City."

    11. After getting a tip from former partner Paul McCartney that investing in song rights is a good idea, Michael Jackson outbids McCartney for the rights to numerous Beatles songs. Beatles songs start showing up in numerous commercials, including the devastating use of "Revolution" by Nike.

    12. Due to popular demand, Gilligan's Island is released on DVD.

    13. "My Big Fat Greek Family" (t.v. show)

    14. The Grammy Awards finally creates a metal category, then selects Jethro Tull for the award over Metallica during the year Metallica released And Justice For All, a thrash metal classic and one of the most important (and lyrically significant) metal albums of all time.

    15. Janet Jackson exposes her nipple on the Super Bowl halftime show; the intensity of the response implies that she almost single-handedly destroyed Western Civilization.

    16. Spice World

    17. Buns of Steel

    18. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

    19. The creation of Carson Daly

    20. People show up at 5 a.m. with signs so they can wave in the background of "Good Morning America."

    21. Rico Suave

    22. Billy Idol leaves seminal punk band Generation X to invent "corporate punk rock."

    23. Networks slice up sporting events into small, "buyable" events such as a "fast break" and "scoreboard/game resets." Corporations then pay to "sponsor" these events, thereby embedding numerous ads within a single sporting event and hitting the viewer with a never-ending stream of corporate brand names and affiliations at each point in the telecast. Further "slicing and dicing" is predicted - soon companies will be able to sponsor individual free throws and touchdown passes.

    24. Jennifer Love Hewitt attempts to portray Audrey Hepburn for t.v. biopic.

    25. Numerous millionaire athletes (such as Terrell Owens) liken themselves to MLK during contract holdouts.

    26. Jello Biafra, punk rock legend and lead singer of The Dead Kennedys, is kicked and beaten by a gang of punks who yell "sellout" at him as they beat him.

    27. "My So Called Life," "Freaks and Geeks" and "Sports Night" are all cancelled due to low ratings.

    28. Movie critic Joel Siegel dons an Incredible Hulk glove to promote the Incredible Hulk movie.

    29. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

    30. Stephen King pans Stanley Kubrick's terrifying interpretation of The Shining starring Jack Nicholson and eventually insists on (and gets) a "Shining" mini-series starring Steven Weber from "Wings."

    31. Ewoks

    32. Jar Jar Binks

    33. Alex Rodriguez signs with the New York Yankees.

    34. "Guns 'N Roses" goes on tour with only an overweight Axl Rose from the original lineup.

    35. Fleet Bank merges with Bank of America, creating one of the largest financial institutions in the United States, and promises no inconvenience to current Fleet customers. For some Fleet customers, this is the fourth bank merger in the last five years.

    36. Blockbuster

    37. Four of the ten richest people in the world are all linked to Wal-Mart.

    38. All the large movie theater chains begin showing commercials before movies. Some show as many as twenty minutes of commercials before the films begin, but refuse to list the times the movies actually start.

    39. SportsCenter anchor Stuart Scott utters the phrase "as cool as the other side of the pillow" for the one-thousandth time.

    40. Condeleeza Rice

    41. While facing some heat about Halliburton's lucrative "inside track" on certain contracts in Iraq, Dick Cheney's representatives claim he has "no financial stake" in Halliburton despite owning millions of dollars in unexercised stock options.

    42. Former Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski goes on trial; evidence of his free-spending of shareholder dollars includes a party where vodka was served from the penis of a nude Greek ice sculpture.

    43. In all of the trials of all of the executives accused in the Enron era of corporate malfeasance, only one of all of the multi-millionaires on trial offers to give any of their money back or help the thousands of employees whose pension plans were bankrupted.

    44. Not long after September 11, Jerry Falwell appears on Pat Robertson's t.v. program and points the blame for the attack on the cultural decline in America, specifically citing God's anger at "feminists, lesbians, and the civil liberties union."

    45. Van Hagar

    46. Young Guns II

    47. "Whoop! There it Is"

    48. After Jennifer Lopez' film career takes off, her "handlers" huddle and express their concern that she is losing her Latin-American street credibility. "Jenny From the Block" is subsequently written and released and becomes a hit video and single.

    49. British-band Oasis achieves a modest level of MTV-driven success and a band member compares themselves to the Beatles.

    50. John Lennon is shot and killed by one of his own fans, who turns out to be a major fan of Catcher in the Rye as well.