What are the odds I will score here?

Discussion in 'Stripclubs, Strippers and Porn Stars' started by Heartbreaker, Jun 16, 2006.

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  1. Axe

    Axe

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    3,639
    Games

    Topping from the bottom? Maybe you can exlain this a little more.

    Are we talking about getting the most for our money or are we talking about dating strippers? In a for-money situation its not that difficult to get a provider to do what we want if we shower, use deodorant, are polite and are firm about what we want. And if we have some money to spend intelligently.

    Getting them to date us?. OK, its also a game, but a very different one.

    Is it time to start a new thread?
  2. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

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    We play different games in different venues, but my success at turning beached carp AMP sessions into something resembling real sex was always to be as submissive as possible while simultaneously pushing my agenda and making it clear that I wasn't an idiot with money.

    In retrospect it was sort of topping from the bottom, but that doesn't quite capture it because I was never really trying to 'top' nor did I ever really take the position as the 'bottom' in the sense of other interactions that I've read about here and elsewhere.

    It was more that I tried to come off as nice and harmless as possible so that they wanted to sell (note: not have) sex to me. But I never threw money around, hardly ever tipped, and was pretty insistant (at times I felt like a high school boy trying to get into a girl's pants) about putting my parts where they 'shouldn't' have been.
  3. justlooking

    justlooking

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    25,481
    I agree with the "shock them out of the game" part. A recent interaction, which I won't bore you all with here, was a picture-perfect illustration of that. I don't think I "outgame" anyone, cuz as far as I can tell I'm not gaming.

    But I actually thought the "topping from the bottom" was kind of brilliant.
  4. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

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    I didn't like what I wrote when I wrote it, but I couldn't think of a better way of saying it.

    But I'm not sure you outgame strippers. Somehow you're able to shock them out of the game and you just find the win-win.
  5. Axe

    Axe

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    3,639
    Close to ZERO

    Heartbreaker,

    In my nearly one decade of strip-clubbing/mongering/general-whoring-about, I have had maybe 75-100 conversations just like the one you had with Miss Colombia. Unless you've agreed beforehand to have sex for money with her, exchanging phone numbers with a stripper generally means NOTHING. The chances that it will go anywhere are about as close to zero as you can get without actually being there. And giving her the $20 was a total mistake, for exactly the reasons explained here by other members.

    I have dated strippers, but NEVER 20 minutes after I just met them. As I have politely (and not so politely) reminded countless strippers and a few hobbyists: when you call a stripper and leave a message, the ball is now in HER court. You simply NEVER call again before she has returned your first call.

    When a stripper is into you, things happen RIGHT AWAY. You go out to eat RIGHT AFTER she finishes work - then you get a BJ in the diner parking lot (for FREE). You get to take her home - then you get a BJ in her hasnt-been-cleaned-in-a-year apartment (for FREE). You get a BJ in the parking lot of the club...for FREE. You see the pattern here? The signs of an interested stripper are so clear, it is IMPOSSIBLE to miss them. They usually involve both your zipper and her mouth being open. There are always exceptions, but I didnt see any signs of it in your post. It was a typical empty promise. As a fellow monger-er, I hope for your sake I am wrong. But I doubt it.

    I am so impressed with the advice given by the other members here. You guys know your shit! I am honored to be in the presence of such expert hobbyists.
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2006
  6. justlooking

    justlooking

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    25,481
    Gee, I never knew I was topping from the bottom.
  7. justlooking

    justlooking

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    25,481
    Big huge DITTO
  8. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

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    This is sage advice (and probably worthy of its own thread).

    The job of a stripper is to hold out some vague promise of sex in order to generate as much revenue as possible. The reason that so many are so incredibly good at it is because most PL's think that their job is to bed the stripper with as little cash as possible. So the PL's think they're playing this game (and they are). The problem, of course, is for the most part they're playing someone who is much more practiced and able so they get they're assed kicked.

    The best kind of mark is a lazy, greedy, and somewhat desperate person. That's why every con is himself a prime mark. Once you out yourself as in this frame of thought, it's probably over for you.

    Of course, you could be one of those rare people who actually can play the game better than a stripper. But that's unlikely.

    I've always been amazed by the transformation that a stripper undergoes within her first two weeks of stripping. Get a new dancer and your mind starts reeling at all the possibilities because she has no idea how to handle herself in a strip club. Mileage abounds. Extras abound. Everything seems possible. Come back to the club two weeks later and she's just as guarded, cold, and manipulative as every other stripper in the club.

    No, unless you spend a lot of time in a strip club and become proficient at topping from the bottom, there's not a whole lot of hope that you're going to be able to outgame a stripper
  9. Thorn

    Thorn

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    7,772
    Oh, btw, a big P.S. on that...

    If you are ever in such a situation again, and what you truly want to establish a dating relationship with a dancer, than what you actually ought to be thinking is: "Am I going to enjoy this person's company? Do we have chemistry?", not, "Am I going to score."

    Because it is precisely the "am I going to score" thought that runs though you mind, that any experienced dancer-stripper can smell on a man as surely as a dog can smell fear, which is her justification for creating the "custy" vs. regular guy pigeonholes in the first place.
  10. Thorn

    Thorn

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    7,772
    At this point, specifically, you defined the relationship in her mind.

    While it is highly likely it was simply dancer rhetoric you were receiving, if there was any chance she was remotely on the level you blew it out of the water when you handed her that $20 bill. You are now and forever permanently labeled in her mind as a "custy". "Custies" are people you feed from, not establish non-business relationships with, unless, of course, that relationship is about money.

    Dancers can be in club friends with customers. They can even have sex with them. But understand this if you understand anything else about the dancer-customer relationship, once it is established in their mind that you are part and parcel of their food chain you are pigeonholed into that category, and all that comes with it and it will forever, under all circumstances, color their perception of you.

    [Note: There are always exceptions that prove the rule. The above is a generalized statement that covers, in my estimation, at least 98% of said interactions.]
  11. Heartbreaker

    Heartbreaker

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    1,029
    I think you guys are right because I hesitated to call her at about noon during lunch and didn't call until 6:30 last night. In all likelihood I won't go see her today and will just blow it off. I already trashed her number and deleted the call from my cell phone.
  12. paulbunyon

    paulbunyon

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    8,041
    HB--Brykster knows of what he speaks and I think he's spot on with his analysis of your situation. Not trying to bust your balls but I think the odds are really against you scoring with this chick although I wouldn't mind being wrong. Most of the time you can tell if a chick is into you by the amount of time she calls you so let us know if she calls you today and keep us abreast of the situation.
  13. brykster

    brykster

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    2,832
    i'd say Bunyon is right here, if not, even worse 85/15 against. if i had a dime for every time i'd gotten a dancers number and made vague plans that never materialized. and the fact that you tipped her a 20 without even a dance means nothing one way or the other. that kind of action could just as easily make you look like a spineless sap as it can make you look like a great guy. as for the whole life story thing, again, very common and means nothing. all these women have some hard luck story about the "old country" and will eagerly tell anyone who will listen.

    in all likelihood, she was new to dancing and had a few interactionms with the lecherous wolfe type trying to insert digits up her ass during a dance. you served as a diversion, not just another drunk asshole; but someone she could talk to. of course, she responded positively to the novelty of the nice guy. but with time, the realization came to her that you are "the type of guy" who goes to a strip club during daytime hours on a weekday...someone no "good girl" would want anything to do with.

    let me know how it pans out. i'd be just eager to hear that i was wrong than i was right. oh, and if she doesn't get back to you, you can call her once more (although i wouldn't) and if she doesn't respond a second time, forget her...and i mean forget her. don't even say hi or acknowledge her presence should you see her again. if she thinks you are stuck on her, she will take advantage...that's not strippers, that's women in general.
  14. paulbunyon

    paulbunyon

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    HB-- IMHO the odds are about 70/30 AGAINST. If she doesn't call you by 5/6 o'clock tomorrow she's definitely not interested and I wouldn't even bother showing up there. If she doesn't call don't waste your time, way too many chicks out there to be had.
  15. Heartbreaker

    Heartbreaker

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    1,029
    So I go to meet my friend after work on Thursday to some strip joint in north Jersey. It's around 7:00, the day dancers have dispersed, replaced by the night shift and the place is rather empty. While I am waiting for him, I see a hot brunette dancing on stage. I would give her body about a 9, face an 8. I don't see her smiling at all, so maybe she has an attitude or is having a bad day. She finally gets off the stage, I hand her a dollar and ask if she wants to give me a lap dance. She really doesn't react, so I tell her I won't bite. She finally breaks a smile, starts laughing and says she'll come over when she's done.

    When she gets done with her shift, I see her talking to some guy at the end of the bar. I can't tell if he works there or is another customer. Five minutes go by, so I figure she is going to blow me off. Just then, someone places a hand on my shoulder and when I turned around, it was her. I ask her if she wants a drink first, tells me she isn't feeling well, but will have bottled water.

    We start talking and she tells me she is from Colombia, divorced, with a 2 year old back home being taken care of by her parents and she sends them money each week. She has only been working here for 2 months, stripping for 6 months and is only going to do it temporary. Her English was okay, but sometimes I didn't understand what she said. She is turning out to be a really sweet girl so much that, to make a long story short, I asked her if she wanted me to take her out. She said yes, and we go through the whole schpeel of me calling her, her calling me, where do you live etc. We decide I will call her, she gives me her phone number and that I will pick her up when she is done working on Saturday around 7:00. That's in another club in north Jersey and since she said she likes seafood and has never been to the Jersey shore, we'll head down that way. When she went back on stage, I handed her the $20 bill I was going to give her for the lap dance since she didn't do it.

    When I called her today (Friday), it went straight to voice mail. I left a message saying I hope she was feeling better, wanted to know if she still wanted to get together on Saturday and I would come by the club near the end of the day.

    Anybody want to predict whether we actually go out. I'm not expecting to get laid on the first date, unless she is stricly play for pay. I wouldn't mind having a sugar daddy arrangement with her though.

    BTW, when I left, I called my friend and thanked him for not showing up.