What is Considered to be "Stood-UP"

Discussion in 'New York' started by TuckernotSucker, Nov 30, 2001.

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  1. RuffToy

    RuffToy

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    Am I reading something wrong in this thread? I thought it had to do with being stood up by a "friend", and the ramifications of the relationship. Discounts? Didn't think this was p4p.

    And as far as demanding discounts from a friend. When I do business with friends, non sex business that is, I NEVER demand discounts, I expect them. If I don't receive a discount, so be it. However, if I don't receive a discount, say if I'm buying a camera from a buddy who owns a camera store, I will hesitate to purchase from him again. It's funny, when I do business with a friend, I never negotiate. When I do business as a consumer, I negotiate hard.

    I don't have friends as sex workers so I pay the price and never discuss money. When I have sex with "friends" who's discussing money anyway. Am I missing something here?
  2. BigMadM

    BigMadM Linoleum

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    11,013
    why not?

    I have friends in certain businesses and we contact each other if we need something, and we give each other huge discounts if we can.

    Getting me 2 bottles of wine at cost though is alot different than me asking a girl to take 200 bucks for 3 hours of using her body.

    I dont know how other people base a friendship.
    Since Ive known people for 25 years, watched their kids grow up, been to every family event with them, and vica versa, were friends, or at least somewhat friends.

    A girl I paid to suck my dick, well, I dont know if I pay her weekly to suck my dick she is considered my friend. We are very cordial and friendly, but I dont think either of us consider each other a real solid friend.
    so with my thinking, I cant let plans made outside of the hobby with her, only because we are friendly with each other, and doing a favor now and then doesnt mean were real friends, wont think myself ever think when she cancels with me a friend broke a date.
    Shes a business woman, thats how she met me.
    If I knew her since she was 15, and we were friends, and I didnt pay her for sex, then although shes still an escort, Id expect her to treat me as a friend and then be offended.
  3. justlooking

    justlooking

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    I'm not disagreeing with that at all, RuffToy.

    Just pointing out that you can't demand discounts from friends.
  4. RuffToy

    RuffToy

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    5,161
    We all give a pass to friends who occasionally cancel at the last minute. The operative word is occassionally. It makes no difference that she's a provider...someone who calls themselves a friend does not do that.

    She's a sex worker and may have the opportuntiy for a last minute spontaneous appointment however there comes a time to place a value on what she considers more important....keeping pre-arranged plans with a friend or blowing him off (no pun intended) just to turn another trick.

    This is not rocket science, just matters of the heart.
  5. justlooking

    justlooking

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    THIS WAS NOT A SESSION. IT WAS A PERSONAL GET-TOGETHER. SLINKYBENDER WASN'T PAYING HER.

    (Nobody here can imagine having a friend who's either or both of (a) a woman and (b) a sex worker.)
  6. ecpaul

    ecpaul

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    Without a discount and an apology I would simply cross this woman off of my list and well inform others on the board (it's your choice not to and I respect that). If she's a professional, which in this case she may just be forgetful, she should've called you back and made amends. Shit happens to everyone but business is business and it's only hurting her's not to take responsibility and call back $$ clients. You have other options and I highly respect ladies (and so far all the ladies on here are gold about that) who take care and call me back to reschedule or whatever.
  7. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

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    Nope. Although I don't remember who I was talking about then.
  8. Captain Kirk

    Captain Kirk

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    691
    Exactly 3.
    Same as a tootsie roll tootsie pop.
  9. curious

    curious

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    1,872
    Hey

    Slinky himself summarized it quite well in a post (that I can't find at the moment) that went something like

    <<Women who spend any amount of time in this business find that eventually it messes up their relationships with:

    1) Men

    2)Money

    ...>>

    btw, sb... is the woman you're talking about in this thread the being alluded to here?
  10. justlooking

    justlooking

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    25,481
    (I tend to think there's a simpler explanation, but who the fuck knows?)
  11. justlooking

    justlooking

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    So are you saying -- and this isn't a challenge, more like I want to be completely sure I understand you, cuz what I think you're saying is really interesting -- that people who are in the business of selling social activities might find it hard to have real social relationships, at least with people in the class to whom they sell their services?

    That's really an interesting thought. Of course, it's the kind of thing that might seem extremely presumptuous for people like you and me to say. But OTOH, I doubt you could ever expect much honest input on this from the people who would actually have knowledge. Sort of like how you can't ever expect to get honest statments from habitual johns as to whether their whoring affects their marriages.
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2006
  12. curious

    curious

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    I gotta learn to compose more quickly.
  13. curious

    curious

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    Guess I deferred to jl too early, 'cause that was sort of what I was reaching for; that this person is "in the business/ in the life", and that it's been pretty clearly established that her time is worth money (she does get paid, right?)- so, when SB contacts her to set a social date (even with honorable intentions), that's an imposition on her time, for which she isn't getting any clear-cut "on the the barrelhead" compensation, but rather only the decidedly more opaque "night out on the town" with the, er... Pumice man.

    (I mean, even if SB is picking up the cost for their excursion, it isn't anything she can fold up and put into her pocket, right?)

    So that might explain why she always finds something else to do, often at the last moment, to spare her having to go out with SB- while she may intially find the prospect of social time attractive, as the time of the date draws near, that deep-seated primordial hooker sentiment enters her conciousness (<<Hey, is there something tangible and worthwhile that I'm getting out of this???>>)

    She concludes that there's no money in the deal for her, and so finds something else to occupy her time, (or at least tells SB that she's doing something else that night- even if she really isn't).

    That SB accepts her change of plan (however begrudingly), and even offers to include her in subsequent dates, communicates to her (as a female) that she's in control of the relationship, and there's no especial reason to pick-up on any one invite from SB, as there'll likely be another coming down the pike next week(end) or the one after that.

    She must be pretty damn engaging company, SB... good luck!
  14. Slinky Bender

    Slinky Bender The All Powerful Moderator

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    Boy do those hit the nail on the head.
  15. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

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    I should add that in the decade that I've known my flaky friend, she's generally matured quite a bit. I like to think that some of that has to do with me.

    I'm certain that if she hadn't improved in these areas that I would have stopped dealing with her a long time ago.
  16. justme

    justme <i>pop and click tainted</i> Vinyl ( is dead )

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    I wonder if there is such a thing as 'demand side' in personal relationships. I tend to think there is.

    I have a close friend who is kind of a pain in the ass. She's (it's always a she, no?) fairly narcissistic and also flaky. Most of my other friends don't see why I put up with her. A few times I've wondered the same and almost ended the friendship.

    I think it's pretty common to have a friend that gets more than they give. I'm not sure that such a friend deserves any kind of special dispensation because she's a prostitute. It's fair to consider the line of work and how that places demands on her time, but that will be no different than the demands on people in different professions.

    In the end you have to decide whether or not you're getting enough out to justify what you're putting in.

    Of course if you do decide that it's worth it then you can't really get too upset over what you've gotten yourself into.

    (Not that I don't get pissed off from time to time...)
  17. curious

    curious

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    SB typed: ...But the one I'm talking about cancels out on me almost every time, without warning, when we have plans days in advance, and not for work.

    Sorry- I read the stuff between the commas like a parenthetical-

    i.e.: "not for work" modifying "cancels out on me" instead of "when we have plans days in advance"

    Got my sentence structure messed up :red face:
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2006
  18. justlooking

    justlooking

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    Not that I disagree with your advice.
  19. justlooking

    justlooking

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    But in this relationship, Slinkybender isn't the demand side. He's just a friend.
  20. curious

    curious

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    1,872
    Sb

    Sounds like you should consider letting little miss "I-have-better-things-to-do", go do them, and stop feeding her ego. Silent treatment from the demand side is a wonderful corrective.